Your post has brought back memories of early January. I was then, in the exact same position as you are now. It is scary and you seem to work on auto pilot while you go through the barrage of tests. It may seem strange but once treatment begins you will feel calmer. I am having chemo before surgery to shrink my mass and am already 4 cycles down with another 4 to go. I'm in a routine now, and while I still have surgery and radiation ahead my care team have been really supportive and I feel secure which is reassuring. There are lots of lovely ladies here to offer you information, support and advice. It's also good sometimes to vent your frustration with others who just 'get it'. My best wishes to you as you start your journey.
Hugs MO xxx