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Shezz8's avatar
Shezz8
Member
14 years ago

Lost confidence

Hey everyone, this is my first time blogging here. I've been single (widowed) for quite some years and had a single mastectomy two years ago.  Because I was in the public system I could only get reconstruction of the removed breast; so now I have one reconstructed breast and one original breast!  I recently met a man who I thought was very caring until I told him of my BC and subsequent results. He now does not want to see me any more.  I have taken this as a personal rejection because of my body.  It does not bother me that my body is not perfect. I'm alive and here to tell the story, but he has rocked my confidence. I thought it only matters what we're like inside, but apparently not so.  Has anyone else experienced this, and if so, how did you deal with it?

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  • pinkpeonie's avatar
    pinkpeonie
    Member
    14 years ago

    Hi

    I am so sorry to hear of your story .

    From what you have said though you  told him about your cancer - so perhaps it wasnt to do with your body but more to do with what you have been through.

    Cancer can be a very scary word to many and so maybe it was that that he was running from and not your body!!!!

    Really this response says more about him than you !!!

    Please don't lose heart or think that there wont be someone who will value you for who you are and not what you look like.

    Sadly there are those who care more about the outward appearence - be it small boobs, big boobs or no boobs etc !!!!!!

    There are also those who have had various experiences with cancer or a fear of it and it may just seem too much to cope with .

    But that is not someone you want to share this road with.

    Hang in there - dont give up - and there are men out there who are genuinely caring and wont care about the outside  !!! Thhere are many ladies here who talk about having them in their lives.

    Keep going - you are worth it.

    Take care

    Debsxx

     

     

     

  • FD's avatar
    FD
    Member
    14 years ago

    Hi Shezz I too agree with all of the ladies above and would also like to mention magicmum's comment regarding something about his body that puts a lady off. He certainly has something already it's his personality or lack there of. Count your lucky stars he has run like the coward he is. Try not to think of it as him not wanting you, rather would you want him????? In all honesty if every woman in the world new of his actions I believe he would struggle to ever get another date. You have already been through so much with breast cancer and being widowed so have proved yourself to be an incredibly strong, brave and courageous woman who plenty of real men would be honoured to hold your hand throughout life. Good luck and try not to let insensitive souless beings knock your confidence. Love and strength to you Lara xx

  • FD's avatar
    FD
    Member
    14 years ago

    Hi Shezz I too agree with all of the ladies above and would also like to mention magicmum's comment regarding something about his body that puts a lady off. He certainly has something already it's his personality or lack there of. Count your lucky stars he has run like the coward he is. Try not to think of it as him not wanting you, rather would you want him????? In all honesty if every woman in the world new of his actions I believe he would struggle to ever get another date. You have already been through so much with breast cancer and being widowed so have proved yourself to be an incredibly strong, brave and courageous woman who plenty of real men would be honoured to hold your hand throughout life. Good luck and try not to let insensitive souless beings knock your confidence. Love and strength to you Lara xx

  • magicmum's avatar
    magicmum
    Member
    14 years ago

    I'm sorry you have had a confidence killer, but it is HIS problem not yours.  Maybe one day he will find that something about his body puts a lady off, and then he'll know.Those that mind don't matter, and those that matter don't mind.

    I feel so sad when I read posts about partners who are less than supportive - I am so lucky.  I just keep thinking that they will reap what they've sown.

    You put your chin up and hold your head high. You are still the same person you were before and if you project confidence and contentment with your own self it will shine through. And then you have a chance of meeting someone who sees what's important.

    Goodluck on your journey.

    magicmum