Look Good tomorrow

Hi Sue,

Yes it was an awful experience and one that I won't forget in a hurry.  Thankfully the second round, done Boxing Day, went off without a hitch.  Plugged in first time, went swimmingly till the third drug and it only needed slowing down a bit to be OK.  I was in, round and out in 2 hours.  One more FEC to go then 3 rounds Docataxol which I'm told is interesting....  I had the head nurse who was doing all the trying to get me hooked up the first time.  It was more the swelling from the placing of the port than any other trouble.  Thankfully it has settled now.

Cas

Oh Cas - you have been doing it really hard! At my hospital they would try twice then find a doctor to do it. I guess I was lucky not having a port but I thought they were supposed to make it easier?! It did seem that there was 1 'head' nurse who was the expert so I sure hope you've found a good one.

Look after yourself -I hope it's going ok now.

Sue

Hi Sue,

My only worry at the moment is that the next round of chemo goes off like clockwork.  I am thinking of asking the oncologist tomorrow to order an ultrasound so that the port can be seen and they can see where the thing is and which way it is facing.  It took four stabs to find the darn thing the first time.  I was in a state of shock by the time I left and I feel that it was barbaric and uncalled for.  They said I was swollen but they just kept trying.  I'd like to ask the oncologist to sit still while I stab at her chest with bigger and longer needles for an hour so that she can see what it feels like.  I am scarred for life from the memory of that experience.  It won't ever happen again.  I will allow one attempt next time and if they can't find the stupid thing then the chemo will stop right there.  I mean it will stop for good and I'm serious.  I know that another patient who is at the same stage as me had a similar experience and her husband had to intervene and say no, you're not going to keep trying today and they let her go away and come back a week later when the swelling had subsided.

In this day and age of medicene, this sort of thing is not necessary.  I'm appalled that it is allowed to happen.

Cas  (I seriously am still upset by this 12 days later)

Oh Cas I do hope your trials are starting to settle and be 'better' (as much as can be!) than the start.

Maybe I was lucky but I wasn't quite ready for the LGFB thing as it was my 1st time with a group and wasn't sure how sick or sad everyone would be. Yes they had us set up at a set place but the colours were ones which suited me I think. My daughter came with me which eased the strangness too. I did find it a bit weird as I don't wear makeup exept mascara (over 50 my eyelashes started to be invisible!) but was happy to try all the stuff. Mind you I still don't know how anyone can put on full makeup everyday - I admire their patience!

As I had never used eyeliner or much shadow before I did find out a bit and talked to another makeup person later to get hints. See as my brows and lashes fell out my face looked very 'blank' so now I put on a smudged liner and some light brows. I must admit I have looked in the mirror a few times as I leave and say 'you look OK for an old bird!'  (better to look without glasses on as the wrinkles don't show so much!).

I also got a wig from the Cancer council but it turned out that I couldn't stand it and resorted to scarves and hats. (did get some good family shots -hubby looked like an older McGiver in the wig -obviously a bad choice by me!). Lots of good ideas from this site on contacts etc. so I do hope you are managing ok now

cheers, Sue

Oh Cas I do hope your trials are starting to settle and be 'better' (as much as can be!) than the start.

Maybe I was lucky but I wasn't quite ready for the LGFB thing as it was my 1st time with a group and wasn't sure how sick or sad everyone would be. Yes they had us set up at a set place but the colours were ones which suited me I think. My daughter came with me which eased the strangness too. I did find it a bit weird as I don't wear makeup exept mascara (over 50 my eyelashes started to be invisible!) but was happy to try all the stuff. Mind you I still don't know how anyone can put on full makeup everyday - I admire their patience!

As I had never used eyeliner or much shadow before I did find out a bit and talked to another makeup person later to get hints. See as my brows and lashes fell out my face looked very 'blank' so now I put on a smudged liner and some light brows. I must admit I have looked in the mirror a few times as I leave and say 'you look OK for an old bird!'  (better to look without glasses on as the wrinkles don't show so much!).

I also got a wig from the Cancer council but it turned out that I couldn't stand it and resorted to scarves and hats. (did get some good family shots -hubby looked like an older McGiver in the wig -obviously a bad choice by me!). Lots of good ideas from this site on contacts etc. so I do hope you are managing ok now

cheers, Sue

Oh Cas I do hope your trials are starting to settle and be 'better' (as much as can be!) than the start.

Maybe I was lucky but I wasn't quite ready for the LGFB thing as it was my 1st time with a group and wasn't sure how sick or sad everyone would be. Yes they had us set up at a set place but the colours were ones which suited me I think. My daughter came with me which eased the strangness too. I did find it a bit weird as I don't wear makeup exept mascara (over 50 my eyelashes started to be invisible!) but was happy to try all the stuff. Mind you I still don't know how anyone can put on full makeup everyday - I admire their patience!

As I had never used eyeliner or much shadow before I did find out a bit and talked to another makeup person later to get hints. See as my brows and lashes fell out my face looked very 'blank' so now I put on a smudged liner and some light brows. I must admit I have looked in the mirror a few times as I leave and say 'you look OK for an old bird!'  (better to look without glasses on as the wrinkles don't show so much!).

I also got a wig from the Cancer council but it turned out that I couldn't stand it and resorted to scarves and hats. (did get some good family shots -hubby looked like an older McGiver in the wig -obviously a bad choice by me!). Lots of good ideas from this site on contacts etc. so I do hope you are managing ok now

cheers, Sue

I wanted to ask of the volunteers who had had breast cancer.  I don't think any of them had because you just know who has or hasn't.  Yes I know about feeling like a leper too Chrisine.  I haven't had a lot of bad treatment but the first encounter with a private hospital that made me wait, mostly sitting in a sitting room for 7.5 hours for an operation because I'd been told to hurry there after radiology was an eye opener.  I had to chuck a fairly loud hissy fit after 3.5 hours in one freezing cold sitting room, right outside of pre op.  I just picked myself up, marched into pre op and demanded that I be taken to a ward to wait.  They moved let me tell you.  I'm not one to be argued with when I'm in hissy fit state.

Yes, I think the 2 hours was an hour less time than should have been allowed.  It was rushed.  We might not look sick but I know that I've slowed down by at least 35% and probably slowing now after first chemo to 50%.  I'm not going to be rushed.  Thanks for the heads up (no pun intended) on making an appointment with the wig shop.  I would never have thought to do that so I might ring this one first.  I have one wig that was lent to me by the Cancer Council here.  They are extremely nice people but the wig I now find after seeing new ones has had better days and I call it The Ferret for obviousl reasons.

I'm waiting for my hair to fall out before I go trying on wigs because I have thick blonde hair and the wigs won't sit on my fairly large head and stay there  lol.  (it's, the head, full of brains I tell everyone).  So I'm expecting hair fall (like Skyfall) to be end of next week or early the week after.  I'll make an appointment when my head is ready for landing on :P

The make up that they provided for me at LGFB was picked out for a 20 yo I thought but I assume that they have to work with what is donated so I really feel awful for complaining about it.  I've donated the entire lot to my mother who is having a lovely time with it.  She deserves lovely new stuff anyway for all the driving, ironing and looking after me.

I'm so sorry that the LGFB workshop was such a bad experience. It certainly didn't live up to its name for you. Look to your sense of humour Cas and say stuff 'em and get through tomorrow in spite of it all. It will be over before you know it.

Huge hugs coming your way. Have a cup cake :)

Love Janey xxx

Thanks Janey,

My appointment has been brought forward for reasons unknown but I'd prefer to go in earlier anyway so that's good.  I'm almost hyperventilating after today.  I feel very unprepared and out of my depth for tomorrow but I guess I'll find out what I'm in for.  I feel like no one wants to hold my hand at all in this.  I'm dumped at the door and left to my fate and I'm just not OK with that. 

Cas

Thanks Robyn,

The Look Good, Feel Better was a disaster.  I didn't feel empowered at all, in fact I cried the entire way home and for half of the afternoon.  I don't normally wear make up but I went because I thought it would empower me to wear some and look ok.  They went too fast for me, I felt rushed, out of place and bordering on unwelcome.  The makeup in no way suited my skin or hair.  I know it is donated and I should feel grateful but I was the only blue eyed blonde in the room and I looked like a 53yo trying to do 17 again.  The volunteer who helped me tried her best even when another volunteer battleaxe lobbied across the room to slap green goo on me because "you have red skin and the green will counter that".   I managed to hold it together until I got to my car.  I was shocked.

I'm hoping that my first round of chemo is trouble free tomorrow.  I'd really appreciate something going well.

Cas