I am finding that keeping up a "brave face" is wearing me down.. The continual blood tests, oncologists visit where I keep getting told my markers are increasing. Side effects from radiation and medication and waiting to have a scan for staging. I have had great advice from BCNA counsellor which gives me coping strategies but I still feel hopeless. It was my birthday today and dear friends and family made it such a happy day. I know to live each day the best I can but I want to yell at that horrible cancer to just leave me alone. Well that little self absorbed rant has made me feel a bit better. Just a note to all you lovely ladies that what didn't work for me has worked for many others. I'm feeling scared I might have to go back on IV chemo and that is daunting . I sometimes feel I'm looking at myself and thinking that can't be me. At the moment each day I do something for myself ( which usually includes family and friends) and just enjoy each moment. Hope everything is going well for all of you. Karel??????

Happy birthday Karel Is perfectly OK to feel helpless, we all go there at some stage What great family and friends you have, try to be kind to yourself and remember we are all here for you. Lyn xxx

Happy birthday ! The further I go through treatment , the more I realise it's perfectly fine to shed a tear here and there . This is HUGE what we're going through. I was at hospital today and the nurse reminded me how strong we are to go through this. stay strong xo

Happy birthday! Be kind to yourself & take it easy. Treat yourself, its your day!

Hi Karel, wish I could find the right words to make you feel more content. My thoughts are with you and I hope you can find comfort in knowing so many of us really know and understand what you are going through. Every morning I wake up and touch my head with its 1cm growth and still can't believe this has happened to me. I have just finished 6 mths of chemo and about to start one month of Radiothreapy....but I still can't believe what I have been through. I like you have a wonderful family and great friends and this is such a blessing. Don't ever be too hard on yourself and keep posting. Anne-Marie ??

Sending hugs for your birthday. Anne-Marie

Long journeys | Online Network

This_is_Lyn
Member
9 years ago
Happy birthday Karel

Is perfectly OK to feel helpless, we all go there at some stage

What great family and friends you have, try to be kind to yourself and remember we are all here for you.

Lyn xxx
Autore
Member
9 years ago
Happy birthday !

The further I go through treatment , the more I realise it's perfectly fine to shed a tear here and there . This is HUGE what we're going through. I was at hospital today and the nurse reminded me how strong we are to go through this.

stay strong xo
Tanba
Member
9 years ago
Happy birthday! Be kind to yourself & take it easy. Treat yourself, its your day!
LITHGOW1950
Member
9 years ago
Hi Karel, wish I could find the right words to make you feel more content. My thoughts are with you and I hope you can find comfort in knowing so many of us really know and understand what you are going through. Every morning I wake up and touch my head with its 1cm growth and still can't believe this has happened to me. I have just finished 6 mths of chemo and about to start one month of Radiothreapy....but I still can't believe what I have been through.

I like you have a wonderful family and great friends and this is such a blessing.

Don't ever be too hard on yourself and keep posting.

Anne-Marie

??
LITHGOW1950
Member
9 years ago
Sending hugs for your birthday.

Anne-Marie
ScorpionQueen
Member
9 years ago
Happy Birthday Karen!

It's OK to feel the way you're feeling. I found myself being overly upbeat sometimes and pretending to be happy, when in fact I just wanted to scream at everyone to get out! Now about the only thing I do to "protect" others from my illness is wear a hat when young children are visiting and when I go out....if I'm having a bad day, why should I make others feel better about my illness? I found through this I was constantly reassuring others and some days you just don't feel like propping everyone else up....I'm glad that our are seeking help too...it doesn't make you weak, it makes you real. Have you tried mediation?....simple meditation is great to clear your mind. The mind is a powerful thing and its all to easy to let it control our situation.

This journey is a day by day trip, no itinerary, we travel a long experiencing the beautiful with the ugly.....take the love and beauty you get out of it and absorb it......use it to get you through.....pull back, release, breathe......

Sending you love and light Karen.

Xx <3 xX
ScorpionQueen
Member
9 years ago
Sorry Karel! I mispelled your name....blurry chemo eyes!

Apologies.
Brenda5
Member
9 years ago
Happy birthday to you. Thank goodness my birthday was already finished when I got the bc verdict. Being happy during Christmas was hard enough to fake, my heart just wasn't in it.
Karel01
Member
9 years ago
Wow. Thank you so much for your caring and encouraging words. I have realised that really if you haven't travelled the road you do not know where the bumps are. Aren't we lucky to have this forum and know that others really understand. Wishing everyone well.

????

Karel
primek
Member
9 years ago
I have days I make the effort to look like I'm coping. I wear makeup, choose clothing carefully and coordinate my hat and scarf. Other days I just can't do it. I cry just figuring out which scarf to wear or if I can't tie it how I want. I can't be stuffed putting on makeup to conceal my sallow colour and dark rings. I can imagine a birthday just highlights the difficult journey we are on and in the back of our heads we are wondering how many more of these have we got. You don't have to be strong for others. Just do want you can for you. If its a bad day let it be just that. ..it will pass. Take care. Kath x