Just being honest

thanks Jenny, you're right, of course. One step at a time is the only way I can go.

Hi Keiley

I can't imagine what it would be like to have the responsibilities you have AND to be dealing with a cancer diagnosis. However I do know that you need to start putting yourself first in line for some TLC. This doesn't  mean the kids need to walk every step of your anxiety with you but it doesn't hurt to involve them more in helping the family in general. Perhaps a roster for cooking and washing (I found help needed with hanging out the clothes).

Maybe your GP could help with finding a low cost counsellor for you to at least have someone to whom to express your fears on a regular basis.  

You seem to be doing remarkably well with what you have going on in your life. But someone else on this network told me to be kind to myself and I think it good advice. Best wishes,Jenny 

Thanks Brenda, some good ideas here. I will ask. 

Thank you! Good to know we are all here. 

thanks Karen! I do feel very much like you described, it really helps for someone to say 'yep, I felt like that too'. 

I'm working on asking for help. 

thanks Christine, I will ask about the programme you mentioned - I'm in Qld on the gold coast. 

thanks Susan, thank you for giving me some of your story - that helps a lot. 

Hi Keiley,

You sound like you know all the things you can do to ease your mindset. You have every reason to feel the way you do. The first month is just full of uncertainty and information overload.

At this stage it is important to remember a few things. 

1) It could be warly stage or DCIS.

2) Treatment for cancer has come a long way.

3) Everybody is different. While I'm sure you've heard the worst stories and the list of possible side effects, you won't necessarily suffer all of these.

Is like to share with you my experience as briefly as possible. I was diagnosed stage IIb invasive ductal carcinoma. Everything was quite swift from there. Saw a surgeon within a week and operated on a week after that. The tumour was 2.17cm across and completely removed. Spots were found in one of 2 nodes taken out for sentinel node biopsy. Because I'm only 33 i have undergone a/c and taxol chemotherapy for 12 weeks each. I had a port inserted for this and gery glad I did as my veins began getting sore after the 3rd treatment.

I've maintained a very normal life throughout treatment so far. Apart from loosing my hair (so many fun options if you want to cover up) , some bowel issues and very minor nausea and fatigue I've suffered no side effects. I've continued working almost full time through everything, but as I have a physical job I'm on admin duties. My partner even forgets I'm sick. I found the best way to get over the initial fear was to research heaps, and talk to everyone who'd listen. I actually began that phase by breaking down to a manager at work.

So there are some scary things and I encourage you to talk when you need it. Use this forum as much as you need :) Good luck with it all, stay strong!

- Susan.

Hi Keiley - by the sound of your post you are on your way to sorting out what you need to do; counselling will help you put strategies in place to cope. 

http://www.cancer.org.au/about-cancer/patient-support/131120.html

As to the kids driving lessons in our local area there is a programme:

"...L2P is a community based volunteer program providing young learner drivers with equal access to driving experience and instruction to help them obtain their Probationary Licence.

The program receives some much appreciated support from VicRoads..."

Not sure of your locale but I am sure there is something in your area to help.

Wishing you all the best and hopefully your journey will not have too many crooked miles in it.

Take care

Christine xx

Hi there,

like you, I tried to keep everything as normal as possible during my 16 months of treatment. I continued to work partime throughout my treatment (I wonder now how I managed to do that). If I was going to fall apart, it was going to be during hospital visits because I couldn't pretend that everything was ok. I always felt like I was being slapped in the face and found my appointments very confronting. I would suggest that you make sure that you have someone with you at appointments if possible. I didn't feel sick but everything was so serious at these appointments. Omg I had cancer!!!  

As far as the kids driving, you may not be up to it during treatments so perhaps contact the council to see if they have a volunteer program to help kids get their hours up. I know our council does this. You will need to draw on those around you for help. Ask other parents if they would mind taking or picking up the kids if you aren't up to it.  Don't be afraid to ask or accept help. Goodness knows, if you can't ask for help when you are fighting cancer, then when can you? It is scary but you will get through this. Hang in there. Karen xox