Forum Discussion
Ivf bad result
We were hoping to have another brother or sister for my 10 month and fell pregnant 3 months ago.i was told I couldn't keep baby as the beast cancer I'd been diagnosed with 1 week later was a Grade 3. I had to stop breastfeeding. Grief. Abort wanted child. Further grief. Then go through ivf. On the morning of the chemo I got a call. My follicles had been plenty. 14 in each ovary. But only 1 egg was good enough! The call was to tell me the egg had seized. So all hope had gone. Further grief but no time to compute as was having canola threaded in to me 2 hrs later. I feel numb so far. Like I just exist. I want to be positive. Day two after chemo and I feel like I'm just waiting for the next grief/horror. Has anyone else lost the ivf challenge? I mean I'm clearly fertile but on that cycle it just had enough my body probably didn't know what was happening. One day baby next day gone two days later new stimulation. It's been very hard.
11 Replies
Hi,
I am a midwife and can say what you have gone through with losing a baby then the IVF struggles is huge on it's own, let alone throw in a breast cancer diagnosis on top.
I am so sorry this is happening to you, it's horrible and unfair.
Be kind to yourself and maybe get some counselling to help get through all the crazy, difficult emotions.
There are probably ladies on here who have experienced similar so hopefully they can respond
Hugs xx
Yes I have finished my chemo and have one week of Radiation to go. I still have moments when I feel really sad that we won't have another baby, it's not greedy to wish that for yourself at all! I do feel so lucky to have my little boy and for me I tried to focus on making sure first and foremost I was here for him. But like you I certainly didn't feel ready to make that kind of decision!
Feel free to personal msg me if you would like to chat, anytime Xx
Thank you Trace. XXX big hugs
To be honest i wasn't sure how i felt about it as i had no time to contemplate, only a weekend so we just rolled with it. it didn't quite sit right anyway, I'm not one for playing with nature and i understand what length women will go to to have a child as its such a yearning and natural pull, so i certainly don't condemn the process of IVF i just wasn't quite ready. I wasn't ready to make any decisions or shut doors, you are brave to stand strong and say no. To be happy with what you have. I guess i even felt greedy wanting a child at this stage but it was about securing a safety net for the future. To be honest i wasn't sure if i would even have the energy at 42 (which is the minimum recommended wait time of post treatment of 2 years) not that its old but i just don't know how my energy levels will fair after i come out the other side of this. Emma - have you finished your chemo?
I cannot even fathom the loss of a child that has been born into the world. I think this must be the worst thing to happen to any mother. Thank you for sharing your daughters story. I must start to see positive in everything one step at a time, day by day. Thank you ladies for your support. XXXXXX
You are so right. Im am actually glad that i can now focus on my bibi, in a way the door has closed to some extent and i am so blessed to have her, she is a wonderful girl. It has just been one thing after another and i just need to keep focused on the positive. Thank you. XXXXX
Hi Bibi,
I am so sorry to read what you are going through it must be so hard for you. I am 36 and was diagnosed in April of this year, we have a 3 year old and I was hoping to get pregnant again this year but not anymore. We decided not to go down the IVF path but it was a difficult decision. So much happens so fast and we have to make decisions that we never thought we would have to make at this age. I am sending you a really big hug. Emma Xx
So sorry to read your post. Yes, it all seems very daunting and a long road to recovery. I was diagnosed with grade 3 tumour. Just finished chemo and waiting to have my mastectomy next week. I am 54, so not having to go through what you are going through. All I can say is, that you will get through this and there is light at the end of the tunnel. If you can't talk to a friend or relative make sure you write down what you feel on here. There will be someone who can relate and get you through. I definitely don't feel alone belonging to this network. Take one day at a time. Sending you lots of love.
linda x
Hello:) How sad you must feel at the moment. I can't say I know exactly how you feel,but I can say that I have 3 children,my eldest is 35. She is due her first baby in 10 weeks,and she has been to hell and back.Multiple IVF cycles with no luck.Then she fell pregnant and gave birth to a little girl.Sadly she died shortly after birth.That was 3 and a half years ago. She had given up,and then suddenly the impossible happened.She fell pregnant!!! My daughter and her husband feel so very lucky to be able to have this one child.There won't be any more for several reasons .You are grieving at the moment,but when you get past your grief,past your chemo,and start to see a light at the end of the tunnel(and you WILL ) I feel sure that you will feel so fortunate to have your precious little one,AND your own life:)Many times through life,we don't always get to choose the exact path that we would like,but there are always other just as good options!! It just doesn't seem like it at the time! You WILL feel ok again,and life will be good.I am 60 years of age,and I foster children.There are many ways to create a family in this world.Please stay in touch,and put what energy you have into your gorgeous looking 10 month old.Cheers Robyn xox
Hello Bibi
By the look of your photo you have a delightful little toddler. Concentrate on that. If there is to be more family it will happen so don't waste precious moments worrying about it at the moment. What will be will be. Nature knows best. Get through your treatment and enjoy every moment with what you have. Some ladies never got to experience motherhood so you have been blessed.
Summer :-)
