IN SHOCK

Hi Trina- lots to tell you.

Tell whover you like but only when you are prepared to hear some very stupid things on occassion.  It is very hard for people to hear and their reactions can be quite odd and inappropriate.  Mostly though they are lovely.  I told pretty much everyone and got some great support.  My butcher even offered to deliver my order if I wanted to phone it through!!!!

As far as work- I am a primary deputy.  Let the boss know if you are comfortable to let him know you will give him/ her more info as you can.  Try and be sensible with regards to work, I have had lots of colleagues with BC (8 in fact) and all followed varying paths.  I took a full 6 months off for chemo and three surgeries and then went back four days a week.  I felt like the time off was all for ME.  I walked on the beach then went for coffee (or iced coffee when my mouth was sore from cehmo), watched movies etc when I felt well.  There is always someone who can do your job.  A great teacher got to be acting deputy while I was off and she did a great job.

Be brave and positive BUT be honest  with yourself and with at least one person who can listen to you without urging you to be positive ALL the time.

There was a member who posted a lot last year and she said it is all "doable" and she was right on the money.

Love Helen

Hi Trina,  Your going through the worst part right now... no direction, too much information and just gut wrenching fear... You really will feel more in control once you have seen the surgeon and have a path mapped out..

I told my work friends/boss straight away as I work with a small group of women.. they are so supportive.. Tell those you feel comfortable telling and then focus on your own well being.. Its time to be a little bit selfish and do what you need to do for you.. 

I had my lumpectomy 23/2 and am waiting for a date to start radiation.. Its still a rollercoaster of emotions. Usually when you least expect it.. I wish you well for your appointments this week.  Remember we are all here for you.

Pammy xx

Hi Trina,

I was diagnosed in mid-Dec and like you, I was in shock in the week immediately after. Once I'd seen the surgeon and had a treatment plan, my shock subsided as I had something to focus on - surgery.

As far as telling people, I found that it was important to tell my closer friends as I would be needing their support - emotional and practical. And they have been wonderful. Like you, too, I had a get-together of old friends earlier this year and wondered if I should tell all. I ended up only telling the 2 that have consistently kept in touch with me over the years rather than the group.

I did inform work of my diagnosis as soon as I knew as I was aware that there would be lots of time off for me ahead with surgery and treatment. I am in the middle of chemo right now (with 6 weeks of radiation to follow) and my work has been supportive - I front up when I can and stay as long as I can. I think employers are more sympathetic when they are informd of the reasons for sick leave. Afterall, it is cancer and it is a fight for survival!

At the end of the day, tell the friends with whom you are most comfortable with/closest to as they will most likely provide you with the support you need. As the ladies on this site has advised on different issues, do what is comfortable for you. I think you will just know who to tell and when.

Good luck with this week as you head off to your surgeon's appt. And remember what Chris has advised above - bring a friend as two ears are better than one for absorbing all that information and for just being there.

Take care, Jacquie

Hi Trina,

I was diagnosed in mid-Dec and like you, I was in shock in the week immediately after. Once I'd seen the surgeon and had a treatment plan, my shock subsided as I had something to focus on - surgery.

As far as telling people, I found that it was important to tell my closer friends as I would be needing their support - emotional and practical. And they have been wonderful. Like you, too, I had a get-together of old friends earlier this year and wondered if I should tell all. I ended up only telling the 2 that have consistently kept in touch with me over the years rather than the group.

I did inform work of my diagnosis as soon as I knew as I was aware that there would be lots of time off for me ahead with surgery and treatment. I am in the middle of chemo right now (with 6 weeks of radiation to follow) and my work has been supportive - I front up when I can and stay as long as I can. I think employers are more sympathetic when they are informd of the reasons for sick leave. Afterall, it is cancer and it is a fight for survival!

At the end of the day, tell the friends with whom you are most comfortable with/closest to as they will most likely provide you with the support you need. As the ladies on this site has advised on different issues, do what is comfortable for you. I think you will just know who to tell and when.

Good luck with this week as you head off to your surgeon's appt. And remember what Chris has advised above - bring a friend as two ears are better than one for absorbing all that information and for just being there.

Take care, Jacquie

Hi Trina my name is Georgie 48 yrs old and I was told I had breast cancer on Monday 12th March at 3.15pm.

I remember telling my Dr that I didn't have time for this s...., I'm busy I have a great job, a new promotion and training in LA to attend in just a few months.

I came home drank wine cried and cried down the phone to my husband who was away and to my close friends.
Stunned, shocked and in disbelief that this was happenning to me - in someways I still can't believe it.  The rolllercoaster of emotions is quite a ride but hang on tight and things will begin to settle down once you have seen your Dr and surgeon.  I felt like I was in free fall until the appt with my surgeon then once I had a bit of a plan I had something to focus on.

I had surgery to remove the "B" and a sentinal node biopsy on 27th March.  I remember the fear and terror of going into surgery and having pre dye and wire procedure before surgery.  I'm not brave.  But I got through it and have had good results from my surgeon - clearance margins good, grade 2 cancer, nothing in sentinal node and am waiting for appt for radiation which is due to start in a few weeks.  I consider myself to be very lucky.  All of us here know your fear please stay in contact with myself and the lovely ladies on this site, they have talked me through many fears, questions and angry venting moments and I don't know what I would have done with out them.

When it comes to telling people that can only be your decision, I told my manager fairly quickly - within a week of being diagnosed and my close friends straight away, you need friends to support you though, some will find this easy and some will not know how......  be kind to yourself and let those around you help.  Thinking of you

Georgie

This is probably a silly question... but what and when do I tell people? I've been invited to catch up with some old friends later next week...I haven't RSVP yet because I'm not sure what's happening.  When do I tell my boss at work that I need time off? (I'm a teacher so he will have to organise someone to cover my classes).. do I have to tell him why?

At this stage I'm waiting till after I see the specialist (only two days to go) before telling work... but the others?

Hi Trina So sorry to hear about your diagnosis... All of us can truly understand how you are feeling... We have all been on the roller coaster of emotions that is the first few weeks after diagnosis. There is always someone on here at any time of day ready to reach out and give you love, hope, support and friendship. I was exactly where you are in October and even though everyone cancers are different, as are our treatments ,we are all walking the same journey. I'm sure you feel it's too hard right now to walk that journey but remember just one foot in front of the other will get you there. You will be amazed at yourself as your inner strength appears and you get ready to kick that cancers butt even though that seems impossible to believe now. I underwent a double masectomy and then a bilateral full node clearance and am a quarter of the way through my chemo. I will then have radiation. I remember how scared I was at my first appointment. Try and make contact with a breast care nurse as they are a huge source of information and support. Arrange for a My Journey kit to be sent to you from BCNA even though you may not be ready to read it yet. The cancer council have an info pack they can send you too. Put yourself first... Cry when you need to... People will tell you how brave you are but you dont have to be brave.its ok to be scared, to not want to play this game, to want to go back to your life before breast cancer. Look after yourself, share your fears and tears here with us. Take care and look after yourself. Thinking of you Mel xxx