I have very little self esteem

Hi Maryrose,

I wish I could refuse to go out with her but we all go together and my daughter gets upset if I don't go so I just rise above it because wild horses couldn't break Priya and I up and she knows that as bc has brought us closer than ever as a couple and a family excluding her but we are worried about Angelena right now she is my main focus, I took the authority out of her hands last night with Angelena as she was refusing to give her Nurofen and she had a temp of allmost 39 so I took the initiative as a mum as antibiotics aren't going to get a temp down but nurofen will I find it better than Panadol it works faster and her temp started to go down she wanted to wait till my hubby got home and I'm like hello I have a voice too and I can call the doctor as I wasn't told what was wrong with her or anything and they allways say a mum knows and reading a book to her made her so happy she's getting sick of her grandmother too, respect in her eyes is when you have to worship her and I don't do that so I know she'll never have any respect for me and I'm ok with that, I'm a very strong person now and my little family is what keeps me going and I have a large support network without the BCNA network I don't know how I would get through sometimes but I do because my inner strength and the support I recieve from people around me keep me strong. Sending you a cuddle, smile and positive vibes Anitaxx

Hi Anita. I feel so sorry for all the crap your mil is putting you through. After 18 years of marriage you would think she would get over it and move on. You shouldnt let her get to you and refuse to go out with her if she isn't going to treat you with respect. I hope you are starting to feel better and please try not to let ignorant people get you down.  Sending you best wishes my dear and stay strong.

maryrose 

Hi Christine,

 I think that is awful that your daughter was made to feel that way and to put a poor little girl through such horrendous torcher is dispicable my mil is just a horrible person but she would regret the day she would try and get me to subject my daughter to that, that's just crazy I'm glad she stood up to her, the thing with bc I find is you get so low sometimes you can't control what's happening but you do eventually, sending a cuddle and a smile Anita xx????????

Hi Lindylou,

 I am feeling much better than I did the other day I suppose I am getting used to my look now but I can't wait for the look good feel better workshop I want to feel beautiful again and I have been watching clips on YouTube today how exciting it looks I have never felt so pampered since I got my bc from friends etc, I say let people stare I am a stronger and staring is just rude but I can't say I haven't done it myself but I am woman hear me Roar, sending you a cuddle and a smile Anita xx????????

Hi Maryrose,

I have tried so many times to talk to her but she doesn't like the fact I am not Sri Lankan and her son loves me and we have been married for almost 18 years and we have a 9 year old daughter who we adore and he is always by my side and so is Angelena but my precious little angel is sick at the moment but is more worried about giving me her flu but I am being careful, I can't not be there for her she needs her mummy, my whole self esteem is getting better as I am finding ways to boost my self esteem and I think very happy thoughts, I hold my head up high and with pride because I am a strong woman who is only going to get stronger, thanks for your wonderful support sending a cuddle and a smile Anita xx????????

Hi Katiet,

 I wish I didn't have to rely on my mother in law but I do sometimes it's so hard with her but I don't let her bother me anymore as I have enough on my plate with everything I have to deal with and now my poor baby girl is sick and she's being so cute by not wanting to make me sick but all my instincts tell me she wants her mum and I am going to be there for her, I tend to like longer scarves and I was looking on YouTube this afternoon about how to tie scarves in different ways I can't wait until the look good feel better workshop it's going to be so much fun, I will look into that website sending a cuddle and a smile Anita xx??????

Hi Anita,

So glad to hear your experience right now.

I found I was a bit sensitive about how my head looked for the first week or so after I lost my hair, but then I got into a routine with head scarves and I was OK.

I decided not to have a wig. Instead, I bought a couple of light weight caps by mail order from "Hat House" and I wear them all the time. In the day I use them like underwear for the head and I wrap scarves around them, colour-matched to my outfit. The little cap meant that the scarves don't slip and I feel secure. When friends saw that I was going for a scarf approach they added to my collection! (long thin ones work best cos they can be wrapped around a few times).

At night I wear the cap in bed (it has been cold here in Sydney this winter).

My post-treatment reward is a trip to Kakadu in a couple of weeks time. My hair is still very short but I'm sure I won't need the caps while I'm up north cos it will be warm enough!

I'd advise that you find your own equilibrium - find a scarf arrangement or hat, or cap that suits you, and that you like. Then you can be confident in yourself and not worry about what others think.

Sending my warm hugs to you! I hope you find an inner peace with your new appearance that lets you be out and about participating in life and love.

With love from Gillian

Hi Trace, I wore a scarf today that was quite large and it took a lot of emphasis off my head and I was okay with being out in public still a bit worried but there were a lot of people there that knew me and my bc and coming up and saying hi there were still people that stared but I can't change people's attitudes just hold my head high and be proud, I am doing a look good feel better workshop on the 12/10 and my husband is coming too as my support person he's taking the day off work I've decided not to wear a wig as it's so hot in Darwin, the support I receive on this site makes me feel so good, I am proud to be a strong woman who holds her head held high and can face what my treatment has in store for me Thanks for your kind words and inspiration sending you a big cuddle and a smile Anita xx??????????

Anita you need to have a chat to your MIL. You shouldnt have to tolerate that sort of thing from family. If that is how she feels maybe you are better off leaving her at home.  Its tough i know but remember its making you well. Keep reminding yourself of that. Try not to worry too much about what others think and focus all positive energy into getting better. You will get through it.  take care

Maryrose 

I have both beanies and scarves. I feel more protected in a beanie, don't feel scared it will come off but now have become adept at tying beautiful coloured scarves with ease.

It is only natural for people to look, as I'm sure I did once. These days it is not uncommon to see people with scarves on be it for cancer or not. 

I also went on the look good, feel good seminar. Definitely recommend it. People there are amazing. You will begin to feel more confident as time goes on. I don't worry about it now. A few more months and you will be able to discard them for good.

good luck with your treatment. Lots of hugs. Xx