Hospital Again!
Hello pink sisters, got out of hospital today after a 2 night stay. This time I was only mildly dehydrated and mildly malnourished. I wasn't handling things very well, but most of you would know that. I developed a psychological problem with my eating. Hard to explain but when I put anything in, all these visions would pop into my head about what I was eating. I knew what I put in but because of having no taste I conjeured up images of terrible things in my mouth and would start gagging. Saw a psychologist and she believes my brain was working overtime to try to understand why I wasn't tasting anything. Built myself up into anxiety attacks. I have some new breathing exercises to try and have managed to cope so far. There is one funny story, though, in the emergency department they gave me a meal. I thought I would season it with salt in the hope some taste might come. Ate a few pieces of broccoli and my partner asked me to pass the sugar for the tea. You probably guessed by now what happened:) Well, for the first time that day I stopped crying and laughed. Doctor was amazed that I ate vegetables with sugar and didn't notice. I responded with 'told you my taste buds are shot'. They were all so nice and helpful. I had a newlasta shot today, my first one. So I'm home again, and hopefully will feel alright till my last chemo on 4/3. I was being pretty hard on myself, all the medical team said it's a hard gig to do. Oncologist has said she will get me over the line and I trust her. So tonight when I was eating I constantly told myself I will be cancer free and have many more years to taste things and that worked. Just one more thing, my brother presented me with a Dolly Parton concert ticket in the hope it would bring me some joy. My sister is there tonight enjoying a 3 course meal in my place. With my white cells being so low it was not worth the risk. My day will come, I guess. Anyway, ladies, I long for the day when I can do a happy blog for you, hope you are all travelling well,
Hazel xx
