Have Hit the Wall

@"Kiwi Angel"
Wish i was in Sydney to give them to you .... take care, be kind to yourself. Yep, a good cry clears the air now & then!  

Sadly, We don't go down very often these days ..... let me know if you ever head up Forster way! xxx  

@arpie your journey has been just as rough as mine lovely - just a slightly different journey. I have been trying to be kind to myself and rest when I need to (mainly cause I’m about to fall down), just not used to being this inactive and that takes its toll mentally too. I’m not one for crying but if I feel I need to I do and always feel a little better.  Thanks for all the hugs. They make it better xoxo

@JJ70 it’s amazing how tough and detemined u can be if u have to ah?  Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep plodding on. 

I feel for all u AC people cause I think that is tougher than the TC, isn’t the A the one they call the red devil?!

@"Kiwi Angel"

Yep, f*cking cancer f*cking sucks - as do all the side effects and everything we hate about it!

I am SO sorry you are feeling so crook & so down .... I stopped counting the number of times I dropped my bundle & I haven't had half of what you've had.  Just know that we are here for you .... and rooting for you to get thru this.  Sleep/rest is nature's way of getting us thru some of the rough stuff ..... so don't feel guilty if you DO have a few days in bed (or as many as you need!) - or just resting up .... 

Just now, your body is running circles 'inside itself' to deal with all the stuff you are going thru - so there isn't any energy left for 'other stuff' - so just try & take it easy .... make haste slowly .... do what you've gotta do to get thru this speed bump

Take care, my friend ... thinking of you big time xxx Big Hugs coming your way xx

KiwAngel I get the hitting the walk thing. It's like enough already!! I don't want yo do this anymore. Get me off this effing ride!
But go on we do. With bated breath and gritted teeth because fuck you cancer!

My lowest time was Round 4 of AC. I barely made it through and if my oncologist had of asked me to do another round I would have given her the one finger salute!

@iserbrown thanks - I keep trying to tell myself I don’t have to be strong all the time. 

@Janny54 spent the afternoon in bed with the cat watching Netflix. I just keep thinking get through Monday and then 21 days after that all this poison should start leeching from my body. 

@kmakm I definitely seem to be following the same as u so far - second was the easiest and third has been by far the worst. That’s so depressing about the muscles!! I’m going to start back to yoga in s couple of weeks and then will try to increase the intensity of my walking when the muscle pain fades. As soon as I can I will get back to running - slowly at first of course and then I might try Pilates too as a new place has opened up round the corner. I’ll be my own rehab but I have been exercising all my life so I know my limits. Its a lot of frustration for me that my body won’t do what it always has - I’m sure a lot of us feel like that though. Thanks for the hugs. Xoxoxo

Steph you poor luv! It just effing sux big time. TC is bloody hard and I found Cycle 3 the hardest. I cried just about everyday. All the side effects compounded, just like you say. It's awful. At this stage my hands were so sore I couldn't even fold laundry it felt so rough. But the sun rises and sets and you will get through it, one day at a time. Be kind and gentle with yourself. You are almost there. Soon all your side effects will fade and you can work on getting some of your strength back.

At a BCNA info night I attended there was a talk from an oncology exercise physiologist. He said that from the age of 30 we lose 10% of muscle strength per decade. He said that three months of chemo took 5% from you, and six months took 10%. Shocking. We have to remove expectations of 'bouncing back'. It's going to take time hun. Have you got a rehab exercise program sorted? Hang in there, big bear hug. Kate xox

Hi @kiwiangel.
Sorry to hear you are feeling so down today. If you are able to just give into it. Might be good for you to have a me day. We all need them at some time.
Great to hear you are heading for your last TC. Hope you have a bottle of something on ice for Monday night.

Hang in there. Big hugs.

Jan xxx

Totally understandable - entitled to a melt down, let's face it, you've earnt it!
Take care as it does get better

@Josephine66 it’s true isn’t it - we are lucky to be here and I know there are a lot of people worse off than me but the whole thing just gets u down sometimes xo