Getting ready for chemo again

Thanks Kay for your words of wisdom. 

Is it okay to say out loud that what life has dealt us is the pits and I am angry?

I don't get out much and find constant visitors overwhelming.  I know people mean well and I am lucky to have so many supporters, but sometimes I find well wishers stareing at me and saying 'you do look well', or 'your a champ, you going so well', 'keep up the positive attitude", when I feel crap, I look terrible (no hair, swollen eyes, nails falling off) and the only thing I am positive about is that there is still a long way to go. All I want is for someone to say the truth -  "you look like crap, is there anything I can do".  Then I can break down and cry and not be the super, strong, positive person, that I am not.

I hate having to pretend everything will be okay, I am scared.  I know in time it will be, but my head isn't there yet.  I am focusing on small goals, like only 2 more chemos after this mornings one.

Sorry to be so morbid today, but 2 girls are away with another family for the weekend and feel lost without them.

Kay, I really appreciate your support and kind words. I feel better for getting things off my chest, even in a more public way then I thought I was doing.