Getting ready for chemo again

Hi Janeann

Sorry to hear you are feeling crappy.  Having said that I do remember that I felt exactly the same as you.  I went to a physologist (not sure of the spelling) at my surgeons request.  I remember sitting there thinking what the hell am I gonna say.  I ended up opening up to her and telling her that I felt that I was not being a wife or keeping house (all the things that you said and more) and just felt overwhelmed by it all.  She suggested some day care for my two year old, a house cleaner and an ironing lady.  She explained that I would be able to get these services subsidised if I could not afford them.  I broke down and said "why the hell would I want to admit to anyone that I could not do these things that defined me as a woman/wife and mother.

In time I made a comprimise and had day care for just one day a week from 9 -12.  And I got a cleaning lady too.  I still did the general tidy up and just left the yucky stuff to a lovely cleaning lady.  Now i still have a cleaning lady because as i feel better I do not want to be cleaning and doing all the boring stuff, I want to be out doing fun stuff with my beautiful family.

I guess what I am trying to say is, try not to beat yourself up.  Chemo is probably the most difficult thing you will ever do in your life, so be kind to yourself and dont worry about the cleaning.  Or, if you are like me and still like it to be spotless, maybe get some help with the "yucky" stuff .  There are lots of free services available.   i felt exactly the same as you, but boy how my attitude has changed.  If I could afford it I would palm it all out!!  lol, cleaning, ironing, mowing, window washer, car wash........,mmmmmmmmmmmm  no issues with doing it all myself now......lol

Only two to go......what an achievment.  Hang in there hon and give yourself a break.

Tanya