Flustered? Who me?
I told myself it was time I wrote a new blog - and what a week, Easter was great! no doctors appointments, no treatments - and I enjoyed every second of it. I had a wonderful cousin travel thousands of kilometres to visit me, that was fantastic! I got to talk to my children on the phone. So you may ask, why have you put 'flustered' on your blog title - well, you all know that when times are a trial, some people react well and support you - some try to support you but every time they say something, it sounds like they are condesending - but more on that later. On Wednesday I had to visit the Oncologist (I am nicknaming him 'the bad news bear') - I have my reasons even if he is a nice guy) any how just outside his office I spoke to the receptionist - now she was getting really flustered. One of the chemo patients who had just finished his treatment was arguing with her - it went something like this; Him: - "I dont need to see the oncologist, I never see the oncologist after a treatment, I am going to see him in a couple of days!" She: "But all the patients see the oncologist after their chemo" Him: "I don't ever", She: "Well you have to" Him: "I dont want to" She: "You need to!" - and so on and on (sigh) .....now honestly I thought to myself - he doesn't need this, I don't need this - and so it went. Needless to say I didn't get the appointment made with the cardiologist that my oncologist wanted me to get the receptionist to make - and went home more than speechless to what had just transpired. Meantime I get a phone call from a long lost friend that I had recently written to. It was quite nice talking to her, but I realised after I'd hung up - I was a bit 'peeved' about some of the comments. Now before I go further I will explain that I am a very active person, I go to an art group, I sew, I do embroidery, I do mountains of puzzles etc. I would consider this as 'keeping active' - ok I am not one for tennis or golf, I am the 'arty' type. This friend told me - "You must keep active, you don't want to let this thing be all encompassing and take over your life..." Now ladies I can hear the screams from here - Yes! I know! I know that I don't want it to take over my life - bit darn hard some times I am thinking! I let it go.....then she said "I hope you don't drink too much" ..............What the? where did that come from I wondered? I had to say to her - "Er, chemo and drinking are probably a bad combination, (and I am not going to try and find out if it is true or not) - however I shan't be trying it out to give you the results" I laughed nervously and still stunned at the comment....I think she must have me confused with someone else! I wanted (but didn't) to assure her that I wasn't going to purchase a cheap carton of wine, lie on the floor - open the tap and hold mouth open and guzzle. Mind you! there have been occasions lately where that would be tempting. So in between phone companies stuffing us around for the past month, grumpy receptionists, flippant doctors and other well meaning advisors - my husband alerted me to the fact I had "a short fuse, and wasn't very tolerant" - I replied "No kidding Sherlock, funny about that!' He never meant any offence, but bless him, he pulls me up occasionally - probably a good thing. In the meantime, some of the comments from the well-meaning crowd are "You are so brave!".....(Me) actually I am not, just getting on with it or "You must survive this"......yes folks I wrote note to self "Must survive.....apparently this is a good thing" I know - I am being cynicall and slightly tinged with some semblance of humour - Another note to self "Keep it funny kiddo, this works!" I can say one thing - I DO try very hard 'not to let this thing take over my life' I do try to be 'active' - the hard part is when I look in the mirror or go to get undressed - I have this little 'reminders' glaring out at me. In the meantime I have renamed my hospital 'The House of Pain' - (still trying to be funny!) Ladies please respond and let me know your thoughts on 'if you get flustered' by people and their comments - or just life in general. Big hugs to all x x x
