Feeling scared and very much in the dark!
So we return home and there is a bouquet flowers on the table and a package containing My Journey Kit, how sweet! The next day it is back to reality and my head just keeps boom, boom, booming! I’ve got surgery in two weeks and I have no idea of what in the hell is going on, what I am supposed to do, what is to happen next, who can I talk too, etc………. I start reading the My Journey Information Guide, then stopped! ‘I can’t do this, it’s too much!’ I checked in with my GP and spat it all out! He is an amazing doctor who spent all the time that I needed for me to calm down, to be enlightened, to be reassured and then sent on my way with the info that I needed and a to do list. Gee, I so needed to do that! I now have a plan of attack. The next day I spoke to the health insurance company to find out about all the costs, etc. that were involved. Before dialling, I said to myself, that if it was a male who answered my call, I would ask for a female to speak to, as I was so nervous and scared and I didn’t want to discuss this topic with a male stranger. Stupid thinking on my behalf at the time I know, but that was just how my brain was thinking. The officer Monique was so sweet and so caring, it was like an informal counselling session, she said and did everything that she could to help me out. I ended that call feeling so much happier and more confident that I could do this. The next call was too BCNA, what can I say, very helpful staff and again very reassuring. I discussed with the lovely lady post op bras and where to get them, my Breast Care Kit was ordered for me there and then. She couldn’t help me with the surgery based type questions that I wanted to ask but referred on the Cancer Council. Feeling a little more at ease, I went back to reading my two BC books and started writing down questions in my journey book that I still needed to ask someone. I never ended up ringing the Cancer Council, don’t know why.
Before I knew it, the hospital had rung to organise my pre admission appointment and the Anaesthetist was chatting to me on the phone. With a few more questions answered I decided that, now was the time, to pamper myself with a facial, massage pedicure and manicure (minus the polish) and check in again with my GP. Appointments made, my final week before surgery was starting to look quite busy, so I made sure that the Thursday (day before surgery) was kept free for me to rest up.
The final week flew by, pampering Monday, pre admission appointment Tuesday and Wednesday pampering, bra shopping and GP visit. I arrived at the pre admission appointment on the Tuesday armed with a pile of questions, she was great and checked my vitals, explained everything and nearly answered all my questions. The specific questions relating to the BC surgery and dye injection she couldn’t really fully answer so she organised for the Breast Care nurse to contact me. I walked away from the appointment feeling quite happy and more informed. Tanya the Breast Care nurse phoned me the next day, we had a long chat and she explained everything that would go on during the surgery day. All my questions were now answered and I was feeling a quite prepared for the big day. I also managed to get a Berlei post op bra and a couple of crop tops from our local bra shop in Waikiki, Bra Town which was a relief too! Thursday rolled around before I knew it and my nerves started to kick up a gear or two! Phone calls, messages, cards and flowers started to come which really made me feel loved and cared about. My so-called rest day, ended up being quite busy doing washing, last minute gardening, hospital stay packing, etc.: however, it was capped off nicely with a family dinner out at our local courtesy of one of my step sons. On the last visit to my GP he prescribed me some sleeping tablets, ‘try a half first to see how you go and if that doesn’t work after about an hour take the other half’, he said. So that night I took that piece of advice and after about 40 minutes of looking at the clock I don’t recall anything. If there is a message to take out of all of this and share with you, it is that:
“Do not ever be afraid or scared to ask questions, no matter how silly you think they are, as the more informed you are, the better off you will be in the long run. Going into a journey like this is no mean feat, by asking questions you have a better idea of what’s install and what to expect as you go over the bumps and around the corners in your journey.”
P.S. I forgot to mention something in my previous post which I think is important. It is, that after I got my initial results from Dr Galloway, she told me to call her at any time should I want to clarify something or ask questions. I took up that piece of advice. A few days later, and with a short list of questions, I phoned her and got her to go over the results again because it was all still a blur. She happily went through the results again and was also able to give me other results that had since come through as well as answering the other queries that I had. I’m so glad that I phoned!
