Feeling a failure

I know my percentage if I had chemo was 1%.  They were not game to give me chemo due to my allergies to all but one antibiotic, and my mast cell issues.   I couldn’t even have the blue dye for the node finding. And cancer was in one node so I really wanted to stop it coming back.   On the UK NHS site I worked the difference at about 3% if I took blockers or not.   It makes no difference. If Intake them, I’m in a wheelchair, and fe by someone.  Without them, I’m walking, cooking, gardening, etc.  It’s not the pain. I’m used to pain, it’s the not being able to move properly.