Emotional roller coaster
How am I feeling......?
It has only been 4 weeks since I was diagnosed and I abruptly stopped working full time. That in itself has taken some adjusting to - I do love my job and struggle with the concept of not working for many months to come. I need to find new challenges (besides the physical/health ones) to keep me busy. I also have hardly ever been away sick which means that I am very fortunate to now be on paid leave.
Having my world turned on its head (again) is a struggle at times and I wish I was 'normal'!! I have always been quite fit and healthy and don't like this druggy world I am entering. I don't like not being in control!! (Those who know me will laugh!)
Last night I was feeling 'woe is me'. Today I have been surrounded by some wonderful girls and women in my life as we had a baby shower for my middle daughter. My eldest daughter organised food, decorations and games (in between feeding her 9 week old daughter - my second grandchild; first grandchild - 2 year old boy stayed with his dad - this was a girls only day - LOVED IT - but did miss his entertaining 2 year old chatter).
Middle daughter will have her first baby just after Easter. This will be by Caesarian being breech and a big baby. More things to be thankful for.... My oncologist thought I shouldn't start chemo this coming week (1) because I'd likely be crook for Easter and (2) so I can be free of chemo for this new baby's arrival.
So for the next week I can hang out with daughter no 2 as we both relax and rest and daughter no 1 with my two grand kids.
There are always positives!
Through all this I am blessed with the support of an amazing man who continues to stand by me through this emotional roller coaster ride. We only met just over 12 months ago playing at the same social tennis club and have been together for not quite 5 months. Huge ask for a new relationship! An added bonus is that he owns his own business and so is able to come to all my appointments with me. He can often hang out with me during the day as well if he is not working as he can generally chose when he will work. I really do feel soooo lucky.