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DansBoobs's avatar
DansBoobs
Member
13 years ago

Down days

It's funny that almost 12 weeks down the track, almost halfway through chemo I feel like I am finally processing this shitty situation. And I am scared shitless. I don't want this shadow following me for the rest of my life. I don't want to think that every little niggle will be a secondary. I realised the other day that this is my worst nightmare come to life. When I first started nursing in oncology 12 years ago I would look after young women with young families similar to myself and feel sick about it. It was my greatest fear and now I am living it. I know I should see the glass as half full, I am lucky. Luckier than some. But somedays are dark and it's hard to see the light.

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  • Pamelamary's avatar
    Pamelamary
    Member
    13 years ago

    Hi Dan,

    Not at all surprising to hear about down days - we all have them, and you have shown remarkablle spirit so far. The sad fact is that cancer will always be part of our lives; the challenge will be to make it a positive part, whether it be through advocacy, support of other women or simply a renewed appreciation of life. Keep strong!

    Best wishes.... Pam

  • FD's avatar
    FD
    Member
    13 years ago

    Hang in there Dan, don't let it take your smile. You have done an amazing job so far. Surely it is normal to have dark days when you are going through this difficult time. Like you said you are living your worst nightmare and you will be stronger for it when you wake (soon). Try to take one day / step at a time easier said than done. Allow yourself to be the patient for a change and accept all the assistance and help you can get. I can't wait to read your Treatment finished and Cancer free blog soon. Love and strength to you Lara xx

  • annie2's avatar
    annie2
    Member
    13 years ago

    Wow i cant believe its been 12 weeks of chemo already for you.well done!

    Yes it is shitty i finished treatment 6 months ago and that nagging thought is always there.I dont know if it will ever go away.

    I think it would be harder for you you have seen first hand the trauma this disease does to individuals and families.

    It does get easier over time the chemo puts you in dark moments.It feels like a constant battle to keep alive.Let alone trying to deal with it emotionaly.

    It is scarey ,but thankfully we are lucky here in Australia with what we have offered treatment wise.Keep going half way is a good milestone.

    Cheers Annie x