Double mastectomy and reconstruction

Hi Jacquie,

I am feeling for you right now in your post surgery blues. It is a difficult place we find ourselves in after we have this type of body altering surgery. Immediately after my mastectomy I had a reconstruction and had a big crash after a couple of days while in the hospital. Fortunately the high dependency nurse was expecting it, apparently its a response our bodies have to major surgeries, like Mita has said above. This reassured me, but didnt take away the dreadful feelings i was experiencing.

Then after initial recovery at about 4-5 weeks along came the next big emotional hurdle. This one I was not expecting. I was recovering well, scars healing, body getting stronger each day. Again though, I am told this is also common.

When we recover from the healing part of the surgery, we are well enough to take stock of what has happened to us and our bodies. This was hard for me, and sounds like its hard for you too. And if this is where you are at, I am afraid to say it is a slow emotional recovery and learning to look at ourselves and seeing and being comfortable with the new image looking back at us in the mirror.

I think this is when others sometimes say "cheer up, nobody will notice how differently you look". It becomes our personal private burden. I am fortunate to have had a partner to help me through, he still helps me and we infact had a discussion just tonight, which is more than 1 year post surgery, about challanges I still have.

So I guess I am saying you are not alone. I know many women share these feelings and we all seem to muddle along in our own unique ways. I agree with Mita too about seeking support through your breast care nurse or cancer council support. There might be a support group in your area and ladies you can meet who have experienced similiar feelings and might have some techniques you can try. There is a support group area on this website you can search by postcode. http://www.bcna.org.au/sharing-support/find-support-group-your-area

I have heard of post mastectomy pain and you might get a better response to this question if you post it in the main forum.

I wish I too could give you a big hug. Feeling alone through this journey is not easy, so please keep asking till you get the support you need.

XXXLouie

Jacqui, I've found the breast cancer nurses a great source of information & support.  Have you got the Helpline phone no for the Cancer Council in your state ... so you can call them yourself?  I only know about the Qld one, but the ladies who take the calls are fabulous ... and will take time to talk with you.  They always ask you to give a rating on how you're feeling at the moment.  You've come through tough surgery and are in pain & dealing with fluid.... it'd be hard not to have tears falling.  I wish I were there to give you a  gentle hug.  The breast cancer nurse will advise about the pain and the fluid ... and please god let it be that these things  are a temporary response of your body.  I had open heart surgery in March and when the fluid built   up afterwards, I honestly thought I was drowning from the inside.  A senior nurse was brilliant in how she reassured me that it was simply the body's response to 'something big' being done to it ... & it was treatable and would pass.  She said to me that if that were not so.... then where did I think I would be?  The answer was Intensive Care.   And I wasn't there!  it gave me a perspective.... when I'd been in tears and panicking.   It hurt like billyho having a drain put in my back & was like continually being stabbed with an icepick.   But the nurse told me that this was  'my friend' as it was taking the fluid away.   That, too, gave me another perspective.... the awful hurting would eventually bring benefit to me.   I don't know if any of this is helpful to you.  But your tears and depression with the awful pain & the fluid reminded me of exactly how I felt.   Which is why I answered you so quickly.   

Jacquie,  I haven't had a double mastectomy but it's good that you've been pointed in the direction of a group that can help.  Some of the Council Councils in each state have a Helpline.  One thing they do is have a Support Service where they match a person with a volunteer who's been through treatments.  And that person will speak with you (or email) you as a general support person.   Do you need practical support, like with shopping etc?   

I just had a double mastectomy May 7 and the nerve pain along with the roller coaster of emotions has finally gotten to me - I am at a loss as to how long this pain will last, how many times will I be drained.  I've read panadol seems to be enough for others but my pain tolerance is so low I don't know what to do.  Also to note I am 46, I have no children, no partner, so just friends who check in on me now and then.  I am not a spinster but looking at myself is the hardest part.  I really need someone to help and I don't know where to turn - my mom and her sister both had breast cancer, my great aunt died of ovarian cancer and I don't really care if I have the gene - it's obvious I think - I opted for the procedure because of the strong family history and having no one to see me through this.  I feel so alone and I hurt all the time - the scars are small and as far as surgical work goes, he did a beautiful job, I just have some ups and downs, and today is obviously a downer :(

thanks for any help or guidance you ladies can give :)

God bless

Jacquie

Hi Donna, and thanks Janey for the wrap. Wow, you have a few things on your plate, sorry to hear about your circumstances and that of your hubby. He sounds wonderfully supportive.

This is the link to the group for reconstruction. There are many ladies there who can answer all your questions and offer support. Reconstruction can be such a difficult time and I know I have found great support even just reading others experiences.

http://www.bcna.org.au/group/61026

cheers Louie