Every now and then we see a conversation about all the weird and insensitive things that people sometimes say to people affected by breast cancer. What are some of the nicest, most supportive, loving things family and friends have said? And what are some of the things you wish someone had said or would say?
(Image: http://emilymcdowell.com/)
Yes Cosette, I have. I found it very inspirational lol
From my contact with others on here, I think that what I (we) experienced is unfortunately fairly common.
I guess most people just don't really understand how just that phone call or text would make such a big difference.
That is why I found the support of 'friends' on here was so helpful. You just don't really understand unless you are going through something similar.
It was harder for my girls and my husband though. We have worked through it though and even now they are finding connections with new people in their lives who have experienced similar things with someone close.
I guess at least we are all able to empathize with others experiencing traumatic times for various reasons now. We are different people now and some relationships from before bc are stronger, others have weakened. There are lots of new ones too! I prefer to move forward rather than dwelling on what I cannot change. So do my girls and hubby! :) Deanne xxx
Naaaawww thanks Cosette :)
There are many different kinds of friendships and those built around circumstances can be very powerful because those people understand you in ways many others can't. I'm glad you get that from your support group :-)
From being an inspiration to being unfair... those are pretty opposite sides of the spectrum. Have you ever seen Stella Young's TED talk, I'm not your inspiration, thank you very much? It's great and addresses this idea you raise.
She's right, you know :-)
I'm sorry to hear that you felt abandoned by family and friends a couple of months into your diagnosis. Have you ever talked to them about it?
I'm glad that your neighbours were so supportive :-)
For me my most comfort and support comes from the ladies in my support group, they seem to always know what to say. Stupid thing is if I didn't get bc I would never be running a group and made long life friends.
The best comment I had a man in a wheelchair at the supermarket called out to me "I love your head! You rock bald". It made my day.
The most annoying thing that was said to me was "oh you're an inspiration! I couldn't do what you are!" Of course they would. The other option sucks. And no, I'm not an inspiration! I'm doing what I have to to survive and get through.
The nastiest thing that was said to me was that I was being unfair. Unfair!!! I had bloody cancer, how unfair is that? Oh and that after 8 years of working in a management position at a company that I was being demoted and when I kicked up about it, I was sacked.
The funniest thing said was a little girl at the supermarket yelled out at the top of her lungs, "mummy, where's that lady's hair?" You've never seen a mother grab her kid and run out of a shop so fast in all your life lol
Karen
My daughter in law said to me last night, after discussing what I'd look like with a bald head, "You have a very feminine pretty face. So you'll look nice."
That meant so much to me :)
