do I have it or did I have it???
I don't deny that I was diagnosed with breast cancer, nor do I deny that I have had surgery, chemotherapy and radiation therapy for breast cancer - but do I say I still have breast cancer, or do I say that I HAD breast cancer??
After my surgery, my wonderful breast care nurse, Irene, would correct me when I said I have breast cancer. She told me that I had breast cancer, it was gone now. I wondered why I needed chemo & radiation, but I knew she was trying to get my head in the right space. I knew there was every chance something was floating around in me somewhere, looking for a place to metastasize - chemo & radiation would prevent that from happening. (I hope).
It's been two months since I finished radiation - getting ready for the reconstruction now, but over the past few weeks, I find myself wondering, do I tell people I have breast cancer, or do I say that I had breast cancer????
I'm at a point in my life when I am about to be introduced to a whole new lot of friends (I hope). My older son started school at a place where we didn't know any other families and my younger son started kindergarten, again, at a place where we didn't know anyone. As I meet the mums and dads (now without the wigs, but mostly with beanies because of the freezing Melbourne weather atm!!), when is it acceptable to let them know, or do I have to let them know at all??? I never wanted cancer to define me and I think I've remained normal enough over the past 9 months. I don't want to be known as the mum with cancer, I just want to be known as the mum.
I was hard enough telling my family and friends and they are people that care about me - do these new people care? Are they running away from my kids now because my children's mother had breast cancer??
What do you say???
