Decisions... Help and Advice Please

I just wanted to thank you all for all your responses.  Yesterday, after seeing the surgeon we decided to go with his advice and just have the extra bit removed.  As he said my cancer is contained within the ducts and it would be extremely unlikely that he would find anything more once he removes the next section, although of course it could be that one in a million, in which case the next step would be a mastectomy.  Anyway, I am feeling at peace with the decision and am looking forward to our trip to the Blue Mountains at the end of April.

Love and Best Wishes to all of you

Hi Leonie,

Your poor husband sounds like mine.He has had 7 years of conditioning to only go for the right breast.So when I had the mastectomy he was already on automatic and didn't really miss it.

                          Tonya xx

Thanks for being so candid Tonya.  It is a major part of a relationship that is forgotten.  I am forever saying "look out don't touch my boob" and it is quite hilarious in the heat of the moment.  This left boob has now been "zapped" twice so it will be a louder scream from now on.  My poor husband is always so apologetic and of course hates to think that he may have hurt me.  Anne-Maree - My husband loves my breasts and four years ago when I was diagnosed, the thought of losing them was overwhelming for him.  The night before surgery (lumpectomy) we discussed that if there was a need that the boob would go.  Anyway it is still here but again last night I said that if there is ever a "next time" they both would be gone!!!  And he agreed.  XLeonie  PS  There is definately NEVER going to be a next time.  I have done/am doing my penance.

Hi Anne-Maree

Bit of a story but here it is. I had radical mastectomies, absolutely nothing was left so new boobs had to be built.   I had a double reconstruction using tram flap method (skin from my tummy used to make new boobs). So after 10.5 hours in theatre and 2 days in intensive care, the result was boobs placed too far apart and folds in my new cleavage. I've left the best till last - my 30 year old appendix scar was now front and centre on my new right boob - I kid you not.

Back to theatre few monbths later and all problems rectified with exception of appendix scar. Now that everything has settled, one boob is bigger than the other. I have another surgery coming up to have implants and once that's done we will look at having nipples tattooed. I have also had infection issues but in fairness, I'm sure my chemo belted immune system struggled.

Despite all this, I am a realist. I had cancer which I'm told would have killed me within a year. I insisted both breasts be removed, it was not negotiable and I don't regret the decision for a minute. My surgeon is well known, highly qualified and has performed umpteen reconstructions with sensational results. At the end of the day, my surgery just didn't go as well as we had hoped - that's life. But you know what, I am very grateful my biggest concern in life is a cosmetic one, there are so many women right this very moment who would trade places with me in a heart beat and I am very mindful of that.

I wish you well at your appointment tomorrow Anne-Maree and will be thinking of you.

Kath x

Hi Kath

I have read your blog and was wondering what has not been successful with your re-construction surgeryI really feel for you having to go back into surgery yet again and particularly such complicated surgery.  Take care and thank for taking the time to respond.

Love and Hugs

Anne-Maree

Hi Debbie, thanks for your reply. Interesting....we are the same age and my husband doesn't really want me to have a mastectomy either....he thinks, just trust the surgeon and have the next bit removed, but then I start worrying about going back each week to have another bit removed.  Now that I have had some replies saying that after radium the skin is not as elastic and can make the re-construction more difficult I am adding questions for tomorrow's appointment with surgery booked for Wednesday.  Do you need to have any chemo and are you planning to having a re-construction?  How are you feeling at this stage with regard to pain and tiredness?  Yes, this site is just wonderful and it really stops one feeling "alone" with all the dilemas and questions. 

Love and Hugs

Anne-Maree

Anne-Marie, I am new to this , only found out I had breast cancer 10th March 2011. It has moved so fast. I had to make a decision if I was going to have a mastectomy or have a lumpectomy, my Dr told me it was my choice and gave me the odds for each. I chose to have a mastectomy and all nodes removed as this just gave me a little more chance of it not coming back. I am 53 and at first my husband did not want me to have a mastectomy , but said it was my decision and for me I feel I did what was right for me. It will be 3 weeks this Wednesday since my operation. Only you can make that decision , the ladies  are so supportive and I could not have got this far without them. When I need to know something there is always someone to help and on my down days I get on and say how I feel and it makes me feel better as you get a lot of support. I call them my angels. Take care big hugs Debbie.xx

Anne-Marie, I am new to this , only found out I had breast cancer 10th March 2011. It has moved so fast. I had to make a decision if I was going to have a mastectomy or have a lumpectomy, my Dr told me it was my choice and gave me the odds for each. I chose to have a mastectomy and all nodes removed as this just gave me a little more chance of it not coming back. I am 53 and at first my husband did not want me to have a mastectomy , but said it was my decision and for me I feel I did what was right for me. It will be 3 weeks this Wednesday since my operation. Only you can make that decision , the ladies  are so supportive and I could not have got this far without them. When I need to know something there is always someone to help and on my down days I get on and say how I feel and it makes me feel better as you get a lot of support. I call them my angels. Take care big hugs Debbie.xx

Dear Leonie

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply to my dilema and questions; particularly as you are currently having chemo at the moment.......I wish you all the best.

Love

Anne-Maree

Dear Kath

Thank you so much for responding to my dilema/questions.....I really appreciate you advice and lookk forward to any other questions that perhaps I could ask on Monday.  You will be pleased to note that I have taken your advice and enjoyed a couple of glasses of Clare Valley Riesling with my garlic prawns in the courtyard.....my lovely aunt (my Dad's twin) who is 86 is here for the night to offer support and be a part of  all this "stuff".  I am so sorry that your double re-constructive surgery has not been as successful as you would have wished.....I shall now look at your blog.  Wow....this network is really impressive.

Love

Anne-Maree