Decision Made

Hi ML Not yet but I'm sure those hats will appear. And Lorazapam was the other suggestion. The one I have is working fine and my voice almost back to normal. Guess from previous post it's my natural fight instinct causing the grief at moment. But thats a good thing - would rather fight alway than not at all.

Thanks Wndsrfn - like you feeling more than a bit scared re the first one.

I was speaking with my onc nurse today about feeling very anxious re cannulations due to recent and bad experiences and potential need to have PICC line in - she mentioned I may find helpful to speak with docs on Thursday to get some Vitamin L - I was confused as knew about Vitamin K but not L.

She said smiling - Lorazepam- good for anxiety associated with chemo without hangover effects of Valium and others. Not sure how you feel about taking meds but perhaps may assist with managing the panic attacks.

My mum said she would come down on Tuesday next week - have tried gently to put her off for a few more days as I think I may be better by self - not sure -still thinking it through.

Have those friends of yours produced your fab hats for every day yet? :)

ML

Hi Windsrfn, you might find it helpful to learn that a panic attack is your body doing its best to prepare to fight that sabretoothed tiger you are aware is approaching. Humans developed in a dangerous world where the vital dangers were physical. So we switch on  this physiological switch in response to danger, that fires up your adrenelin and cortisol, redirects blood from the brain and digestive system to the muscles, heart and lungs and generally prepares you very well for flight or fight. Your heart starts pumping like mad, you hyperventilate, you get a stomach ache because there is less blood servicing your digestive tract, and you don't think clearly.

That is what a panic attack is. Problem is that most of our problems these days are psychological or relational, and the system really stuffs us for such problems. So we have to calm down the system since it is no use to us. It is switched on chemically and takes time to fade away.

But it is a sign that your alarm-system is actually in good working order, that you are dealing with a major threat, and that you have to focus on doing what will help you survive.

I find that the third week, I start to get shaky, emotionally reactive and easily upset because I am about to let them put poisons into my body again. It is a physical fear, and an accurate recognition of how dangerous this stuff is: to the cancer as well as to the body.

cheers

 

 

Bus collision for me was pretty much instant. And still waiting to get off fully. Been told things will improve from now on but to still take it easy. So best laid plans of working will be delayed for a while. Mum still down south - best for her and me- plus looks after my niece. My sister will be up for the next lot so will have to inform her about the panic attacks. Good thing is oncologist understood and is going to ring me tomorrow. And signed me off until end of sept for work for insurance to make sure 100% ready for work. Will be a little tough but better in the long term. And when had to fill in prognosis his answer was good. So that was positive. Guess if one week out of ever 4 crap can do this. And getting closer to being halfway. One day at a time. Good luck with yours.

Hey Wndsrfn I have been wondering how you were going. Sorry to hear about the panic attack - they are not pleasant at all and in themselves can take some getting over! As you say one day at a time.

Did the simultaneous bus collision arrive straight away or on day 4 (day of your post)? How are things going with your mum?

My first round has been confirmed for this Friday - have the Dex ready for Thursday; just need to get all the other side effect managers organised, including completing my leave forms. My supply of hats and caps have arrived -ordered them online from a place in Victoria called Gotcha Covered which seems to have been set up by a lady who has travelled the cancer roller coaster.

Take care MLE59

 

Wow what another roller coaster. Feels like been hit by a number of busses at once. And for a first managed to have a manager panic attack. Neve had one of them so was pretty scary. But hey according to oncologist not surprised and doing well and will pick up over the next few days. But looks like won't be going to work. So long as it nails the bitch that bites. I guess one day at a time.

Yes one down. Now to recover for the next. Had amazing support from a very dear friend and staff. Only three more fear concurring feats to go and then 1/2. But I'm not counting.

Hi Windsrfn, hope the first one went down well, and that you were well looked after. The next few days are likely to be tiring, once the steroid effects wear off if they gave you steroids, and you may find the nights very long and slow. I found it helpful to realise how uncomfortable the GI tract gets when it is stripped of its lining, and to really consider what I felt like eating and to make it different every day so I did not get put off too many alternatives by them being associated with nausea/upset GI tract. I had really bad heartburn the first round, which was the worst thing and much of why sleep was hard, and I cleared Somac over the counter with my oncologist, and it made the world of difference. Don't put up with any symptom that diminishes your quality of life: there are good ways around most of them, and the sooner you get them sussed with something that works for you from this page, or your oncologist or your oncology nurses, the better you will go.

Don't underestimate the impact the fatigue may have on you, and the many symptoms that are actually fatigue can include headaches, irritation, frustration, grumpiness, feeling incapable of doing anything much and unmotivated, etc.

But my best advice is make sure you walk every day, even if it is just twenty minutes, and you only get once around the block and have to sit down every hundred meters. Walking gives your body the chance to remember it is alive and your heart is beating and your lungs are oxygenating your blood and you will get through. (Sorry but I have become a born-again walker since I started cheme, and walks with my daughter are often the brightest point of the days)

best wishes, you can beat the bugger.

I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear. Nelson Mandela

My friends and family have, do just that. When think it gets to hard and even in tears they are there to prode and pock me back into continuing with the adventure. Will be updating when can and this is a great spot to vent and speak mind. So tomorrow I throw part of the kitchen sink at the bitch that bites to nail her arse. Oh and hair cut but not a number two and put a splash of pink in to take back some control of my body. Catch you all soon.