Forum Discussion

Lynelle1962's avatar
11 years ago

Day 2

Thank you to all the lovely supportive ladies who responded to my Day 1 blog. I feel less 'isolated' if that makes sense?

Day 2

Laid in bed this morning staring at the ceiling worrying. Decided best course of action is to stay busy so got up and finished painting my kitchen.

Caught up with my mum today and told her the news. She cried. Realised at that moment that it's important I stay strong for her. Told my big brother too.That's it for close family so now I think a post on facebook will sort out the rest.

My sister told me today she is coming to my first oncology appointment. It was so nice not to have to ask. Going to have to put my fiercely independent streak away in a drawer somewhere and accept the support and care of my family and friends.

6 Replies

  • Hi, I so agree about  not being too proud to accept all  the help offered. But I go one step further: make sure you also ask them to do each thing in the way you need it done, eg to pick you up at the time that works for you, to cook the meals you like not what you don't like.

    With people who come with me to medical appointments, I found it is worth discussing what  I want of them, and what they want from the appointment themselves. We had a summit meeting to sort that out before each appointment. Often I wanted to get answers to certain questions, and also to hear what the oncologist or surgeon had to say, so I took a typed up list of dot-point questions to give to the specialist and got my companion to help me remember to give it, to help make sure I shut up to listen to the oncologist and also to help make sure I got my questions fully answered before we left. She also suggested a couple of questions I had forgotten to add. This meant she did not take over, but did help me get what I wanted. 

    Also, operations may be frightening, but to be honest, you are in really good hands these days having this sort of surgery in Australia. As long as you take your pain medications as advised, make sure you are careful not to pull the drain out at night, and listen to the advice on what to do and what not to do as far as exercise and movement, breast surgery is surprisingly painless. In fact  my mastectomy was a lot less pain than a friend's wide-biopsy for a non-cancerous lump!

    A friend gave me the following visualisation to do before my op, and I found it helpful whenever I got scared about what lay ahead. 

    Imagine it all going well, without a hitch, with friendly competent nurses and doctors gently putting you into a deep sleep, and then bringing you gently back to consciousness after he job is all done. These people all have years of experience at doing these ops and are able to do a really good job for you. Imagine healing well, so your body is good and strong and clear of cancer again Imagine the treatments you get mopping up any and all rogue cancer cells so none are left behind. Imagine yourself in good health and cancer free in several decades time, at a family Christmas, thinking back to 2015, and how you had this little glitch that taught you to live your life more fully and well. 

    I would love to know if it is any use to you.

     

  • Hi, I so agree about  not being too proud to accept all  the help offered. But I go one step further: make sure you also ask them to do each thing in the way you need it done, eg to pick you up at the time that works for you, to cook the meals you like not what you don't like.

    With people who come with me to medical appointments, I found it is worth discussing what  I want of them, and what they want from the appointment themselves. We had a summit meeting to sort that out before each appointment. Often I wanted to get answers to certain questions, and also to hear what the oncologist or surgeon had to say, so I took a typed up list of dot-point questions to give to the specialist and got my companion to help me remember to give it, to help make sure I shut up to listen to the oncologist and also to help make sure I got my questions fully answered before we left. She also suggested a couple of questions I had forgotten to add. This meant she did not take over, but did help me get what I wanted. 

    Also, operations may be frightening, but to be honest, you are in really good hands these days having this sort of surgery in Australia. As long as you take your pain medications as advised, make sure you are careful not to pull the drain out at night, and listen to the advice on what to do and what not to do as far as exercise and movement, breast surgery is surprisingly painless. In fact  my mastectomy was a lot less pain than a friend's wide-biopsy for a non-cancerous lump!

    A friend gave me the following visualisation to do before my op, and I found it helpful whenever I got scared about what lay ahead. 

    Imagine it all going well, without a hitch, with friendly competent nurses and doctors gently putting you into a deep sleep, and then bringing you gently back to consciousness after he job is all done. These people all have years of experience at doing these ops and are able to do a really good job for you. Imagine healing well, so your body is good and strong and clear of cancer again Imagine the treatments you get mopping up any and all rogue cancer cells so none are left behind. Imagine yourself in good health and cancer free in several decades time, at a family Christmas, thinking back to 2015, and how you had this little glitch that taught you to live your life more fully and well. 

    I would love to know if it is any use to you.

     

  • Hello again! As Donna says it is definitely time to put away your independence!Accept all help offered,and remember that the ones you love are helped BY helping! My husband often tells me now how useless he felt in those early days,when I always insisted on doing everything for myself!! I know now that I would have been much better off by allowing people to do the everyday stuff for me,therefore giving myself more time to concentrate on just me,whether it be just to rest,or perhaps take a walk, or shop,perhaps a massage? Or just peaceful time to think:)I doubt that you could be any more independent than me,but in the last year,I can honestly say that I have changed this ,and it's for the better.Ladies say on here that you will never feel as loved in your life as when you have Breast cancer.Its true!!!!! Cheers xoxRobyn
  • Welcome to the site, as you have already noticed you will get loads of support fromthe ladies.

    It is such a scary time the initial diagnosis, the fear of the unknown and the horrible stories we have all heard. You are right uit is time to put your independance away, and that will be an extermely difficult task, but its for the best.

    What a wonderful sister you have to just offer, and you find that you will get offers along the way, take them were it suits as you will need help from time to time.

    Its a uncertain time ahead, but your sister and many of us have travelled the road and come out the other side doing alright.

    Stay in touch and let us know how you are fairing.

    Sending you hugs

    Donna

  • Welcome to the site, as you have already noticed you will get loads of support fromthe ladies.

    It is such a scary time the initial diagnosis, the fear of the unknown and the horrible stories we have all heard. You are right uit is time to put your independance away, and that will be an extermely difficult task, but its for the best.

    What a wonderful sister you have to just offer, and you find that you will get offers along the way, take them were it suits as you will need help from time to time.

    Its a uncertain time ahead, but your sister and many of us have travelled the road and come out the other side doing alright.

    Stay in touch and let us know how you are fairing.

    Sending you hugs

    Donna

  • Welcome to the site, as you have already noticed you will get loads of support fromthe ladies.

    It is such a scary time the initial diagnosis, the fear of the unknown and the horrible stories we have all heard. You are right uit is time to put your independance away, and that will be an extermely difficult task, but its for the best.

    What a wonderful sister you have to just offer, and you find that you will get offers along the way, take them were it suits as you will need help from time to time.

    Its a uncertain time ahead, but your sister and many of us have travelled the road and come out the other side doing alright.

    Stay in touch and let us know how you are fairing.

    Sending you hugs

    Donna