Forum Discussion

serenity11's avatar
serenity11
Member
13 years ago

Clearance

So, my final appointment for the post treatment clearance was my breast surgeon. I have had the clearance of the CT scan, MRI, bloods and bone scan. Now it was time for the ultrasound and mammogram results. As I sat waiting, I am becoming so "zen" about waiting, I could hear the one sided conversation of his receptionist. She was talking to women who were at the same place I was just over 12 months ago. Stunned and traumatised because of "a lump". She is still calm, gentle and carein - just like 12 months ago. How does she deal with this everyday and not get angry I wonder?

My turn with the lovely gentle man who is my surgeon. He gave me the all clear. Then we had the what to expect conversation. Did I want statistics or his thoughts? I opt for his thoughts. So, triple negative metaplastic is nasty, aggressive, frightening and devastating but not as rare as it was. Mainly because we can identify it. Bottom line, " yo uare a strong, vital person who has been through trauma and is still going. Today you feel well and that is fundamentally what we are aimng for. I can cant give you guarentees but your body is incredibly more complex than a petrie dish. Therefore your body can heal and stave off cancer if we help. WE are here to back you up. Keep doing what your doing and ask for help when you need to." We spoke about the TNBC a bit more. Then he said after that the first five years are important, but after that you still have a chance of developing cancer - just like everyone else your age. He finished by saying to me " I mean this in a very kind way, but I hope I do not see you for another 12 months". I have to agree :)

So a part of my is pleased, I have a final tick for NED. A part of me is scared about the uncertainty - need to get through another 5 years. A part of me took a deep breath and thought well same chance as everyone else, that makes me nearly normal. And a big part of me is relieved. I made it! It has been a challenge but I have had the most wonderful care and support of family, friends (new and old) and my medical team. I am am begining to understand what I am capable. of. I have a new clarity about what is important. I have an acceptance of my mortality. All in all, I can work with the this.

So onwards I go, remembering I am never alone.

triple-negative-breast-cancer

6 Replies

  • chipmunk's avatar
    chipmunk
    Member
    13 years ago

    Hi Toni

    WELL DONE. I am sooo happy for you. When we next meet for our coffee/breakfast, a big hug to you, coming your way.

    We are all happy that this year, we all have had good news. I think we never let it slip our minds, always there, our little reminder.

    Hoping that not just the next 5 years, but for a lifetime, you are healthy, happy and cancer free.

    Love as always Julie XX

  • NaturalBel's avatar
    NaturalBel
    Member
    13 years ago

    What an inspirational letter, cant wait until Im at that part too.  It was well written and has answered questions brewing in my mind.  I guess we are all different with that end story too, but congratulations to you and here is the best news in the world "All Clear!" hug to you !  Bel

  • adean's avatar
    adean
    Member
    13 years ago
    How amazingly quick does the time seem when youve been through the things involved with BC yet at the time it seems to not go quick enough. My first scans are in 2 weeks and im filling my pants already, its consuming my thoughts, but we do what we have to and battle on, all the best serenity I remember you in the first few weeks of my journey thank you and all the best.Regards Adean 
  • Michelle_R's avatar
    Michelle_R
    Member
    13 years ago

    That is wonderful news that you have clearance for the next 12 months.

    My lovely HOCA Oncologist told me much the same thing after my metaplastic TNBC 12-month checkup - that there is statistically a 12-20% chance of recurrence - and I figure that is better than the average woman in the street. I can live with that, and try to sway the odds in my favour with diet and exercise.

    We came through, Toni - what a year - and we have never been alone. Cheers -

    Michelle x

  • Mich_x's avatar
    Mich_x
    Member
    13 years ago
    Yayyyyyyyyyyy to Serenity, well done, hip hip hooray, what a wonderful feeling.  You did it, you made it, you got to the end of the tunnel.I agree that once you join this site you are never ever alone.  Your doctor sounds so wonderful and even the receptionist (I haven't managed to meet too many nice receptionists on this journey but like you say how do they stay calm, pleasant with what they are having to deal with every day from the other side of the desk).  You were lucky to have such a lovely team and support.Congratulations, it is a big day for you today.  Onwards and upwards.Lots of love, Mich xoxo
  • TonyaM's avatar
    TonyaM
    Member
    13 years ago

    That's right,you are not alone at this network.I know that feeling when you face your first anniversary or every anniversary for that matter.I'll be going for my mammogram/ultrasound in May -3years on for me.Am I anxious? Yep,the minute I make that appointment I start to get the jitters. Congrats on getting the all clear-what a relief for you.I hope you are feeling well and enjoying life.

                                              Tonya xx