So, I will have 6 rounds of (3 weekly) TAC, starting Thursday. My mood this week has been low, despite my best efforts to stay positive, with a 'cry in the shower' morning today. I guess I had been thinking of my mastectomy as more a corrective surgery than a treatment, whereas the chemo is a blunt reminder that I'm fighting a potentially life threatening disease. The list of possible side effects has me freaked, tho I'm hoping some of my worries will be eased at my education session on Tuesday. I'm the sort of person who will overthink it all. Stupidly, the thing that has me really bothered is that I'll probably get too unwell stay on top of things. I'm a bit of a control-freak and I can get quite anxious if things aren't kept in order and done just so. My partner is a bit of a slob too. So I'm feeling completely out of control of my health, my household, my finances, my children, my career & my social life. Must keep reminding myself it's just a few months and I will probably still be able to do lots of things during treatment.Also had a bit of a melt down after visiting Myer to look at their range of bras and book a prosthesis fitting, only to realise I'm not emotionally or physically healed enough for that yet. I'm very small busted, so I'm more upset about no longer being able to wear a moulded push-up bra for my good side than my lack of breast on my mastectomy side. I never had a problem with the little I had left after my two babies were done with them, but I now hate the one breast I have left. Sorry for the whinge about the small stuff. Sometimes just getting it out there puts things into perspective and helps the smile come a bit more easily.

OH @Molly001 its ok to vent and have a cry... they are healthy ways to deal with the crap that is our roller coaster ride of BC treatments. Not everyone gets side effects and some side effects are easily enough managed by telling your team about them. Did you know you can ask for home help while going through treatment? do you have a breast care nurse ask her for a referral. I want to encourage you that 4 years down the track I am back at life doing the things we need to do as a mum, wife, daughter sister etc. ..... Please ask for help from friends and family and if none available ask for help from the BC nurse she will know what you can access during this time. how old are your children ? can they be given small tasks depending on ages to help around the house. You need to focus on allowing your body to cope with treatment and get healthy again. Hugs and energy Alice xoxo

Its overwhelming and even though my treatment was stopped in January my house is still not in order as I am back at work and sorting accumulated crap does my head in. I now have a cleaner which really has taken the pressure off ...but will eventually get my home back into an order. Just do the best you can. Kath x

You may do better than you expect to. Chemo is unpredictable and you can have good rounds and bad rounds with no rhyme or reason why. I think most of us have at least a few days each cycle where there is enough energy to get a surprising amount done. You may be really lucky and skate through it with little trouble at all. Ive found getting up early and crashing in the afternoon works best for me. Anyway, nothing is going to change through worrying about it and, as I can tell you, general disarray can be distressing but rarely deadly. You can clean up later.Hating that one lonely boob is understandable. It's not small stuff at all. The whole business sucks but the alternative isn't great. Good luck.

Hi Molly - as the others have said not everyone has all the side effects and some even glide through. Where you will sit with that who knows and there is no point in over thinking that which hasn't happened yet! You mentioned you are a control freak. Get your lists together and then go about finding a solution to what it is: Cleaning - are the other members of the family going to step up or should you get in touch with the local Council for home help? Food - doing extra meals now and into the freezer or batches of spag bol or soup or muffins or whatever the family favourite is and into the freezer will help. Do you have friends or family that can help out with food. School run - are the children still young and you need help with pick up and drop off. Yourself, do you have what you need for relaxation during treatment? Laundry - will the family members be able to look after this or someone to help? Putting your thoughts into organisation of your household will help you to still have that control. And here's hoping you can manage some of it yourself!Wishing you a smooth ride through treatment! Check this site and you will find other posts around home help services, Look Good Feel Better program (a must for you and it is free) and Otis Retreats (a holiday opportunity for you and your family for free). Opportunities that help us all to find time to relax and cope with where we are atTears are fine Take care xx

Dear @Molly001 You have identified your own worst enemy, the tendency to overthink. I know that feeling well, but one thing we all learn during treatment is to preserve our energy and expending it on things that may never happen is a bit of a waste. So one step at a time. You'll probably get a bit of a pattern over three weekly treatments, so you will get to know when you feel good or not so good. You may, as others have pointed out, feel OK. I worked throughout two lots of chemo, because I was remarkably asymptomatic. Once you know, you can plan much better. The loss of a breast is what it is. We just lost a part of our body with which we had a close, if not always entirely happy, relationship. It takes a while to work out what's best to do long term and there is no rush. You need to heal and take your time. Chances are you will be happy, like many other women who have been through this, with your final decisions.Very best wishes

Chemo starting Thursday | BCNA Online Network

16 Replies

Molly001
Member
9 years ago
All the best for your chemo too Jennie. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow.
Unicornkisses
Member
9 years ago
Hi Molly001. Do you have a breast care nurse? They are great at addressing obsessive type questions, at least, mine is. I am also rather OCD and have been frantically cleaning and cooking before I start Chemo tomorrow.
I am going to have to learn to relax more about it because my husband is not quite as bad as me.
I am sure there will be good times when I can do things, I am on a different cocktail of drugs to you FEC+D but also on the three weekly cycle.
I understand the steroid days can hype you up a bit, and you will be okay to get somethings done.
Maybe some baskets to throw the mess into until you can deal with it will help get your mind organised in the not so good days.

I am hoping to do small tedious things like the mending while I am sitting on the lounge.
even if I get just one thing done a day it will be better than nothing.

We will be okay!
We will get through it one treatment at a time!
And when we are finished this shitty treatment we can have a jolly great clean out and get everything back into order, and even toss out lots of stuff.
It will be very therapeutic.

Best of luck on Thursday, Jennie
socoda
Member
9 years ago
@Molly001 if you think that you are getting overly anxious or obsessive you can always ring 131120 and talk to the Cancer Council and de-stress with them. They will be able to help you if you need to ask questions or talk things through and we are also here to help too. Hugs Xx Cath
Molly001
Member
9 years ago
Thanks Brenda, I will ask about the ED pass card. I do have an at home thermometer. I have noticed recently, though, that my body temp can get up around 38 on very hot days, even though I'm perfectly well??? I will ask my oncologist about this. I can get a bit obsessive about symptoms, checking my temp etc and have myself convinced things are far worse than they are. I have a bit of an OCD personality, unfortunately. I am a bit worried about coping with anxiety and obsessive thoughts during chemo.
Brenda5
Member
9 years ago
I kind of like my one remaining boob. Its just a little bit of me left all to myself. I don't think I could have coped having both off at once.

You'll be fine in chemo. Make sure you take all the pre med pills and continue taking them after chemo so you don't end up chucking which will make you feel worse. Be very careful around stairs and hold that railing. You never know if you could pass out or not and you won't know its coming. When in doubt, sit!
Do you have a home temperature thermometer? If not, get one. It will give piece of mind when you are feeling flat but the temps not 38C you are goodo. If it hits 38C, get in to emergency and tell them you are a chemo patient. *Actually, ask your chemo doctors for a pass card for emergency and keep it with you at all times. It does make things go a lot quicker in emergency.
Lmc1310
Member
9 years ago
Very best wishes Molly xo
Molly001
Member
9 years ago
Thanks all for the great tips. There are certainly quite a few services around that may come in handy. I think I'll wait & see how I go and look into some things later if needed. It's so kind of you all to take the time to share your experiences and wisdom.
iserbrown
Member
9 years ago
Agree
socoda
Member
9 years ago
@Molly001 also don't forget that you can order your groceries through Coles or Woolworths online. I used Coles online after my surgery and still use them now and they deliver right into your kitchen. The staff are lovely and courteous and I cannot tell you how easy it makes doing your grocery shopping. Xx Cath
SoldierCrab
Member
9 years ago
@Molly001 I know a family that employed an au pair while the wife was in active treatment it meant the had reliable live in help and they were able to claim it on their child care rebate I dont know exact just thought I would let you know.
I have 2 boys with Autism so OCD is part of this family so I accepted meals from outside the family and worked our way through the ups and downs of treatment.
You could also be eligible for home help