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Nadi's avatar
Nadi
Member
9 years ago

Can't find the positives today

Hi all. It's been a difficult couple of weeks. I continue to have problems with liver, stomach and general GI tract. Still no definitive idea of what's going on. Lot of speculation by my chemo oncologist about the possibility of it being a radiation side effect but I think that's all bonkers as I finished rads on 5 May and should have healed by now.  

Today's been one of those days where I am really struggling to find any positives. It was the first day in 4 days I've made it out of bed but I know I overdid things as I just spent 20 minutes crying on the phone to a poor man at my bank over a simple disputed duplicate credit card transaction. The guy must have thought I was insane when the truth was I just don't have much left in the tank and he happened to be there when the floodgates opened. 

I am very weak from not eating and only having minimal fluids. I've lost 9 kgs since 8 May. Over the last three days I have lost a kilo per day. That should be the silver lining right there as I am overweight and losing that much would be nothing but good but I would rather feel well. Whole body, arms, hands, legs, feet, knees etc hurt, also probably from the not eating. Portacath surgery may not go ahead tomorrow - will depend on my OBs in the morning.

My poor hubby has taken over doing everything for which I am very grateful. And I had to tell my parents I wasn't in a fit state to look after them today which made me feel like such an awlful daughter, but honestly I don't have it in me. If things don't improve by next Wednesday my oncologist has promised to admit me for more rounds of tests including endoscopy and the like. 

And the icing on the cake is no more paid sick leave which means no more income right when my oven's glass blew up, my ducted heater furnace packed it in with us having -4 degree temps at night, and number 2 son had to have $1600 worth of dental work. What's the saying, when it rain it pours? At least we're saving on food bills because I can't eat. There... that's a positive... sorta.

Take care,

Nadine

11 Replies

  • rowdy's avatar
    rowdy
    Member
    9 years ago

    So sorry you are feeling so sick, sometimes life keeps kicking us when we are down. It is great your husband is stepping up for you. Hopefully things will improve soon for you.Sending you a big hug xxx

  • Ne's avatar
    Ne
    Member
    9 years ago

    Aaaau dear Nadi, so sorry that you are struggling.  It is so hard to be in the midst of if all and life just doesn't stand still for us.

    I had a $3000 claw back on my salary last month for unpaid sick leave because I don't have leave anymore.  Then got a cold this week and had to be in bed 2 days (so anticipating another claw back for those two days)

    I hope things with your health improve soon, I feel so sorry for you feeling so unwell.  Hang in there tiger, you are doing everything you can to look after yourself.  And no more of this 'feeling like a bad daughter" nonsense..anyone would understand that you are not well enough to be looking after anyone.  You need to focus on YOU and getting better first.

    Huggles x

  • Brenda5's avatar
    Brenda5
    Member
    9 years ago

    Oh well if you stick to the stove top and have a big fry pan who needs an oven anyway. For warming the house, shut the doors on every room. Yes its a pest but it will keep drafts out of where you want it warm. Those little exhaust heaters are great when the weathers nasty. Just don't forget about them and leave them on too long or you will get a big power bill.

    You just rest up and as long as you can make it to all your tests and treatments then you are doing your part. Good luck on the portacath today.

  • ScorpionQueen's avatar
    ScorpionQueen
    Member
    9 years ago

    Oh Nadine, I'm so sorry you're having s tough time .... 

    Hard to find words to make it better, hopefully the Dr's can sort this mess out for you

    sending love, light and hugs .... And a prayer that this fog will clear and bright yet times are ahead 

    ??????????????????????

  • WavingNotDrowni's avatar
    WavingNotDrowni
    Member
    9 years ago

    Hi Nadine.  So sorry you are having such a rotten time.  I hope things improve for you soon.  All the best.

  • Karenhappyquilt's avatar
    Karenhappyquilt
    Member
    9 years ago

    So sorry you are doing it tough.  Did you know banks have some assistance to their customers who are in factual hardship?  Might be worth asking your bank what it can do for you eg re your mortgage, if you have one.  I hope things start improving soon.  Sounds like you have a wonderful husband.   Best wishes Karen 

  • primek's avatar
    primek
    Member
    9 years ago

    Oh you poor thing. Have tthey checked your gallbladder out...that can make you feel so sick. I hope things improve soon. Even having optifast drinks woukd give you nutrition if you can tolerate them. And soup soup soup...fluid and nourishment. ..eaten in small amounts frequently might help you to feel better. Hope you improve soon. Kath x

  • socoda's avatar
    socoda
    Member
    9 years ago

    Hi Nadi,

    I'm sorry to hear you're having such a rough time and I don't have any advice that I can give. Just want to wish you all the best and will be thinking of you and crossing fingers for the portacath to go ahead.

    Xx Cath

     

  • jd48's avatar
    jd48
    Member
    9 years ago

    Nadine I am sorry you are having to deal with all that as it is enough to bring anyone down ??

    Have you seen a Gastroentorologist? If not please get your Oncologist or GP to get an appointment for you ASAP as they will be best equipped to figure out what is going on. And you need to see an Endocrinologist regarding the liver. 

    I have had liver problems and GI tract problems my whole.life solI know how distressing those problems are and how much they affect your ability to function.

    Apart from a congenital liver disease I also have severe liver damage from having had Hep B as a child plus have a condition that causes i testinal bleeds plus an intestonal neuralgia and various allergies and intollerances that offcourse exhibit themseves by hitting the GI tract. 

    1st session of Chemo threw me in a tailspin as offcoutse it caused an absolute Hell on my GI tract. I saw the Gastroentorologist yesterday though anstit helped a great deal both come up with a strategy to reduce the severity of next chemo plus a plan of action should it get out of hand again.

    I was also losing 1kg per day post Chemo where everyone gains weight and will not go into everything my gut did ??. I know my situsotin is different but the reason I am mentionin it is that my reaction to Chemo was atypical and unpredictable as far as Oncologist was concerned and he wanted to stop my Chemo altogether. It was Gastroentorologit that could.connect the dots and realise my preexisting conditions were flaring up due to Chemo and atypical or not we needed to manage them.

    I do wish you all the best and please make sure they have you seen by both Gastroentorologist and Endocrinologist asap so you have those issues addressed.

    Hugs

    Jel.