Forum Discussion
Bye bye boobs
Five days to go until I farewell my breasts.
I am comfortable with my decision but nervous about the emotional impact of the outcome. How can you anticipate an amputation of this nature, physically or mentally?
I'm not afraid of medical procedures or pain (eight and a half hours of labour with no painkillers pushing out a 9lb11oz baby...), but I am nervous of being under for 8 - 10 hours. My low blood pressure issues and collapse a few weeks ago are playing on my mind. My GP is being cautious and doing some heart tests and I'll be having a good chat with the anaesthetist.
I'm comforted by the people who've gone before me and say they have no regrets. I know I'm doing the right thing, for me and my family. My lovely breast surgeon agrees. However I am sad. My breasts are actually a body part I liked. We've had some fun over the years; it's challenging to say goodbye to such a delightful erogenous zone.
Nerves and apprehension have been rising as the operation's approached, but have been mostly under control. However last night, after a busy day of distraction, the moment I turned off my light I was swamped with anxiety that went on all night. I had a shocker. The valium I took at 3am didn't help (it was only a 2).
I'm a member of the Choosing Breast Reconstruction Group but it's pretty quiet over there so @iserbrown suggested I post here too, so you all can keep me company through the next bump on this wretched rollercoaster. Black humour welcome!
I am comfortable with my decision but nervous about the emotional impact of the outcome. How can you anticipate an amputation of this nature, physically or mentally?
I'm not afraid of medical procedures or pain (eight and a half hours of labour with no painkillers pushing out a 9lb11oz baby...), but I am nervous of being under for 8 - 10 hours. My low blood pressure issues and collapse a few weeks ago are playing on my mind. My GP is being cautious and doing some heart tests and I'll be having a good chat with the anaesthetist.
I'm comforted by the people who've gone before me and say they have no regrets. I know I'm doing the right thing, for me and my family. My lovely breast surgeon agrees. However I am sad. My breasts are actually a body part I liked. We've had some fun over the years; it's challenging to say goodbye to such a delightful erogenous zone.
Nerves and apprehension have been rising as the operation's approached, but have been mostly under control. However last night, after a busy day of distraction, the moment I turned off my light I was swamped with anxiety that went on all night. I had a shocker. The valium I took at 3am didn't help (it was only a 2).
I'm a member of the Choosing Breast Reconstruction Group but it's pretty quiet over there so @iserbrown suggested I post here too, so you all can keep me company through the next bump on this wretched rollercoaster. Black humour welcome!
120 Replies
- Baked a masala chai tea loaf for my breast surgeon this morning. I cracked the egg for it and look what I got! I'm taking it as a good omen :)
- @kmakm My dear friend!! I haven't been online for a while as trying to recover from my latest op but I have been thinking of you all week & i have been saying a little pray for you each night as i remember that tomorrow is your day! So I jumped online today to send you a message & to say I have been thinking of you. I'm glad i found this post from you so i could be part of the great gallery of your supporters & well wishers. You are such a strong women inside & out & I know your strength & that of your family & friends ...& us here of course...will get you through. i can't say I know what you are going through as i never had to make the choice you have, but going by your story & the advice from your medical team, you have made the right decision. I know you will come out fighting & even stronger than before & you will know that all that risk has now been taken away from you. I guess it's a bit like me after my latest op of removing my ovaries & that risk has now been taken from me too!! It's amazing reading the stories on here & learning how much the human spirit can rise above & we can come out the other side even more courageous. Your anxiety & nerves are totally understandable but you must have faith in your team & those around you to get you through this time. We will all be here for you too!! I wish you strength, love, hope & calm as you prepare for tomorrow. I send you virtual hugs & i can't wait to hear from you & know how well you have come out the other side. Prayers & blessings to you xxxx
- Thank you @SoldierCrab. Feeling quite calm at the moment. Two close friends visited this morning and I'm about to have a massage.
- hi Kmakm, my 2 youngest 15 & 17(Functions a lot younger- autism) were away on a school excursion for 3 days of my hospital stay ... then back to my besties farm for the weekend to await my return on the Monday.... We chatted when they wanted to I sent TEXT saying I am out of surgery all went well to them via teachers as no phones allowed they then got the kids and we spoke briefly they knew I was ok and would be home by Monday afternoon. My eldest 25 at time with autism also had my mum stay at the farm with him as we lived 20 mins out of town.... the same type of thing happened with him.
None of them visited as it is over a 4 hr drive each way .... you know your kids including your niece/nephew well go with your gut feelings on this ..... Tomorrow I will be sending you all the energy you need to come through this stage of the Roller coaster ride with as much ease as possible.
Big hugs
Soldiercrab - @duxx1234 @Janny54 Thanks lovely ladies xox
Good Luck for tomorrow @kmakm. Looking forward to hearing that it all went well and you are on the way to recovering.
Best Wishes
Jan xx
- Dear @kmakm I will be thinking of you tomorrow and sending love and positive vibes down to you from Brisbane. All will be well, take care of YOU and best wishes for your recovery! x
- Thanks @Sister.
- I found that my kids wanted specific times as well and needed the reassurance that things were routine. They came in most days (we live a long way from the hospital) even if it was just for a brief time - a couple of times they were picked up from the hospital by friends' parents and taken off for play dates as it was the school holidays. My girls, in particular, felt the need for contact and we did a lot of emoji-style texting first thing in the morning and at night. It could be that they were 11 & 12 at the time, or maybe it's a girl thing. I always included my 15 yo son but not the OTT stuff. For your niece and nephew, and probably for your kids as well, the situation is even more loaded given the loss of you sister so recently. You may want to give yourself an out by explaining that sometimes, immediately after surgery you're so tired that having to talk to people is really hard. From what you've said, your daughter is pretty grounded and as long as she knows not to expect you to look fabulous, she'd probably be okay - it may be more important to her to see you sooner rather than later.
