Bye bye boobs

One day to go. I've had some wonderful advice about self-nurture, and saying goodbye to my breasts. I can't quite think of what to do though! Tomorrow two close friends are coming over in the morning, and I'm having a massage in the afternoon. Neither of these is too far out of the ordinary. I think it's probably for the best, sort of keeping myself calm by having an ordinary day. As much as I'd like to bare my boobs in a forest and have a moment, I don't think that's on the deep-in-suburbia cards tomorrow. Might have to be in the privacy of my bedroom.

I cooked like a crazy thing this afternoon, baked a mud cake, started a loaf and made a fish curry. It's dawned on everyone in the house today that I'm about to disappear for a while. One by one all four kids and my father-in-law have said "So when are you going into hospital?". My nephew (12) wanted to know specifically when to say goodbye, "So then I won't see you for ten days?", to which I replied well I hope you'll visit me!

Earlier in the day my niece (10) asked exactly what the operation was for. I explained in terms she could understand, couched in the concept I was doing everything I could to prevent the cancer from ever coming back. However she reappeared after going to bed to say she was very worried about my operation, worried that I'd be alright, that the doctors would make a mistake. It's just so loaded for them; it's not two years since their mother succumbed to this wretched disease. It's so bitterly unfair.

My womb kids are a bit calmer. I've said I don't want to see anyone the day after apart from my husband (who just got back from Perth half an hour ago). However when I had the wide local incision my 15yo daughter wanted to see me, and came in with him. I think it was reassuring for her. So I said to her quietly this evening that she could come on Saturday if she wanted to, but that it would look a bit more dramatic than the last time. I don't know if she will but I wanted to give her the option. How have other people gone with their young kids and hospital visits?

My mother (83) visited today, and another friend. Both wanting to see me before Friday. My mother told me she loved me far more times than usual! It's all starting to feel rather melodramatic... but then it kind of is eh?!

@primek I feel very safe in his hands, he's very accessible, and remarkably intuitive.

Sounds like a great surgeon.

Thanks @Finch , busy, stressful , teary , life changing week for us & many others too I guess.
I'm sure we'll have a great catch up .
Lots of hugs for all these wonderful fighting women 
xx

A woman name Kate got breast cancer,
A wretched disease, no romancer.
The old ones begone,
Some new ones stitched on,
And hopefully they will enhance her!

@Finch He is indeed.

Or maybe I exhausted you with chit chat!

Let me know how you get on with the eghplany. K xox

Your breast surgeon sounds like a good un @kmakm , wishing you calm for the rest of the week.  Enjoy getting together with @tigerbeth tomorrow . @tigerbeth wishing you calm also and all the best for Thursday. Gosh you two ladies have a busy week coming up !!!!
I slept in until 9.45 this morning , wow! Must have been the walk.  We have the ingredients for the eggplant dish and might try it tomorrow .
Take care everyone xxxxx

I saw my lovely breast surgeon today and said I was letting go of the stress of worrying what the aftermath of the operation would be like because there was no way of knowing. He said that was the right thing to to, that I had to let it happen, much like when you have a baby, and ride the emotions as they come, rather than plan for them. Someone here said "ride the emotions" too, so I reckon it's pretty sound advice. He said to be 'floppy'! Much like a drunk in a car accident, they get injured less because they don't brace for impact!

He also said that he thinks I'll be fine, but if I'm not, he'll take care of me, that they've got me. It was very reassuring.

@Sister Gosh no, it didn't sound like that at all! Your words always come across as sober and reflective. Always appreciated.

Thanks re the nails. They're normally much longer but four are lifting off the nail bed because of chemo so I got the lady to trim them short in an effort to save them...

@kmakm You're right...you won't know how you're going to feel until you've been through it.  I hope it didn't sound as if I was telling you what you should feel.  Lovely nails, by the way.  Best wishes.