Bye bye boobs
Five days to go until I farewell my breasts. I am comfortable with my decision but nervous about the emotional impact of the outcome. How can you anticipate an amputation of this nature, physically...
Forum Discussion
One day to go. I've had some wonderful advice about self-nurture, and saying goodbye to my breasts. I can't quite think of what to do though! Tomorrow two close friends are coming over in the morning, and I'm having a massage in the afternoon. Neither of these is too far out of the ordinary. I think it's probably for the best, sort of keeping myself calm by having an ordinary day. As much as I'd like to bare my boobs in a forest and have a moment, I don't think that's on the deep-in-suburbia cards tomorrow. Might have to be in the privacy of my bedroom.
I cooked like a crazy thing this afternoon, baked a mud cake, started a loaf and made a fish curry. It's dawned on everyone in the house today that I'm about to disappear for a while. One by one all four kids and my father-in-law have said "So when are you going into hospital?". My nephew (12) wanted to know specifically when to say goodbye, "So then I won't see you for ten days?", to which I replied well I hope you'll visit me!
Earlier in the day my niece (10) asked exactly what the operation was for. I explained in terms she could understand, couched in the concept I was doing everything I could to prevent the cancer from ever coming back. However she reappeared after going to bed to say she was very worried about my operation, worried that I'd be alright, that the doctors would make a mistake. It's just so loaded for them; it's not two years since their mother succumbed to this wretched disease. It's so bitterly unfair.
My womb kids are a bit calmer. I've said I don't want to see anyone the day after apart from my husband (who just got back from Perth half an hour ago). However when I had the wide local incision my 15yo daughter wanted to see me, and came in with him. I think it was reassuring for her. So I said to her quietly this evening that she could come on Saturday if she wanted to, but that it would look a bit more dramatic than the last time. I don't know if she will but I wanted to give her the option. How have other people gone with their young kids and hospital visits?
My mother (83) visited today, and another friend. Both wanting to see me before Friday. My mother told me she loved me far more times than usual! It's all starting to feel rather melodramatic... but then it kind of is eh?!
I cooked like a crazy thing this afternoon, baked a mud cake, started a loaf and made a fish curry. It's dawned on everyone in the house today that I'm about to disappear for a while. One by one all four kids and my father-in-law have said "So when are you going into hospital?". My nephew (12) wanted to know specifically when to say goodbye, "So then I won't see you for ten days?", to which I replied well I hope you'll visit me!
Earlier in the day my niece (10) asked exactly what the operation was for. I explained in terms she could understand, couched in the concept I was doing everything I could to prevent the cancer from ever coming back. However she reappeared after going to bed to say she was very worried about my operation, worried that I'd be alright, that the doctors would make a mistake. It's just so loaded for them; it's not two years since their mother succumbed to this wretched disease. It's so bitterly unfair.
My womb kids are a bit calmer. I've said I don't want to see anyone the day after apart from my husband (who just got back from Perth half an hour ago). However when I had the wide local incision my 15yo daughter wanted to see me, and came in with him. I think it was reassuring for her. So I said to her quietly this evening that she could come on Saturday if she wanted to, but that it would look a bit more dramatic than the last time. I don't know if she will but I wanted to give her the option. How have other people gone with their young kids and hospital visits?
My mother (83) visited today, and another friend. Both wanting to see me before Friday. My mother told me she loved me far more times than usual! It's all starting to feel rather melodramatic... but then it kind of is eh?!