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JJoy's avatar
JJoy
Member
15 years ago

Bumpy Road

Well  Ladies yesterday I came out of hospital a little worse for wear.  What happened to me was just 'one of those things'.  Who would have seen it coming.  To start with let me tell you I was born with a congenital heart condition, a hole in the heart no less.  Well apparently my arteries are not quite where they are supposed to be - this could have been a birth defect or the result of my 'pioneer-operation procedure' back in 1959.  As a result, I had 'complications' in surgery witht the insertion of the port - what should have taken 20 minutes or so, took a lot longer!  I don't want to freak any one out with the details but my poor surgeon must have been in a panic to say the least.  Lucky for me I was in 'La la land'.   Any way I am back home now - with the port on one side and another scar on the other side - with all the operations I have had in the past and now breast cancer ops, I am looking like a 'patchwork doll'.  Gee, and to think I will lose my hair soon - no doubt I will be scaring frail old ladies and small children no less!  People tell me I am brave - good for them!  I am glad they don't see me wanting to curl up into a ball and suck my thumb!   Yes, I do feel scared, afraid and rather fragile - but I have a habit of sticking my chin out and trying to 'joke' about it - what else can you do? Can't cave in now, the road is bumpy, long and winding - that's the journey.  I have one wish, and that is to see my kids, but they are spread all over the country and 'busy' - a lot of you know what I am talking about...and the grand children.  Well that is something to strive for isn't it?! And strive I shall x x x

 

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  • JJoy's avatar
    JJoy
    Member
    15 years ago

    Ladies is this normal, I look like I have been under a sun lamp - only 24 hours after first chemo!

  • JJoy's avatar
    JJoy
    Member
    15 years ago

    Thank you for your support, every little bit helps - and I will take your advice about my hubby, he's wonderful! Cheers J

  • Debbie_J's avatar
    Debbie_J
    Member
    15 years ago

     Sorry you had a rough time, was thinking about you. Yes I cry alot  in front of my husband and try to put on a brave face for everybody else. I  have had 2 days that I felt really good emotionaly and then today was such a mess I cried    most of the day, it is such a roller coaster ride of emotions. Big hugs Debbie. xxxx

  • TonyaM's avatar
    TonyaM
    Member
    15 years ago

    Well Joy it sounds like you got 2 operations for the price of one.You must be extra sore you poor darl.I know what you mean about being brave comments. My husband is the only one who sees me cry.I put on a brave face for the rest. But this is a good site to air your fears and sadness cos we all understand only too well what you're going through.Chemo is scary and you don't know how you'll react to the first one.And as for losing your hair -don't get me started! It's a long,drawn out process but once you are through it all it's such a relief.I think the patchwork doll idea is lovely,much better than the bride of frankenstein image I've been using!!

                                 luv Tonya xx