Hi Sandy,
I am happy to share my journey with you. Currently I am not at home and I do not remember some of the medical terms, however I can forward them if necessary in a few days.
At the time of the mastectomy I had an expander inserted. It was filled with saline fluid over time in preparation for the next stage of reconstruction. This also helped me emotionally and mentally as I could wear most clothes (including fitted tee-shirts) without it being obvious I had lost a breast. The expander was not easy to live with sometimes as the area would become very tight when I used my upper body or when I was stressed. The surgeon told me this would be reduced when the expander was replaced (this was a deciding factor). My nipple and areola were also removed and I found this so difficult. Reconstruction gave me the opportunity to have these back again, even though the sensation will not be there. My self esteem has lifted and I look forward to being able to not feel as self conscious when doing things like changing in the public pool change rooms.
It took me nearly 3 years to be ready to have more surgery and this gave me time to consider my options. I decided to keep the surgery as minimal as possible and opted for the expander to be replaced with a silicone implant (the same suture line was used to reduce scarring). I had the other breast lifted so that I was more even. The technique was amazing and I am very happy with the results. There is one vertical suture line under my areola. The skin was trimmed to enhance the lift and the resulting scar tissue helps to keep the breast lifted. The areola was also moved up and this still amazes me...just a fine cut and perfect stitching! I would never worried about my sagging breasts if I hadn't had the big C...now I have forever young breasts. This was my 50th birthday present to myself! The tightness I was experiencing has also reduced as the area has softened...yeah!
The surgery took around 2 hours and I was in hospital for 2 nights (only because I had to travel in the car for 2 hrs after the surgery). The pain level was minimal. In hospital I had a drip of antibiotics and pain relief for the first 24 hours. I managed with one Endone for travelling and after that Panadol for 1-2 days. The hardest part I found was the emotional low and tiredness that comes after surgery. This did pass after a week or two but at the time it was challenging for me and friends/family who have given support over 3 years. I avoided lifting anything more than 1kg for a couple of weeks and this may be a consideration for your workplace return. It would also depend on the other demands of work as to what when you could return. After the 4-6 mark I was back into the daily routine and could exercise as normal.
The next stage is a new nipple is (made from my thigh skin) and any tweaking if necessary (I don't think I need it). This can be done in around 3 months to allow time for healing. This is day surgery only. The final stage is the tatooing of the areola and this is done in the surgeon's rooms.
The best advice I was given when I was diagnosed was take my time in making my decisions, despite the urgency and fear that goes with it. I have kept that as a mantra, along with one step in front at a time. From the beginning I was conscious about choosing the medical team who could work with me and I asked each one if they could work with me if I chose complimentary treatments. I was keeping open to all avenues and was in the mode of doing my reseach. I look back and don't know how I managed to hold to it together. I was very fearful exploring a path that was not mainstream . I was also fortunate that I had built a network of people that were respected in complimentary fields and I was able to gather information from reliable sources. My breast surgeon has been supportive the whole way through. The oncologist agreed that she could work with me but I do not think she realised how conflicting this would be for her. It was my GP who explained to me that the side effects I was experiencing were due to the Zolidex and early onset of menopause...all of which your posts decribe. The oncologist denied that Zoladex contributed to these side effects and in the end I lost trust in her advice. After I chose to stop the Zoladex there was no point in seeing her. The aches and pains were reduced dramatically after I ceased taking it. My GP was so patient with me as my depression escalated and she gently encouraged me to consider anti-depressants. For 18 months more I contined to explore other alternatives, however I did not realise how low I had become. After being diagnosed my life was turned upside down. I could not return to the same job as it was very stressful and my relationship of 6 years broke down. I also chose to move to the country but became very isolated. I ended up having a breakdown 12 months ago and have crawled my way back with the help of anti-depressants, a good therapist, GP and naturopath. This enabled me to review my next steps with a more balanced mind. I returned to the city and when I became stronger I took on a part-time job. Financially I have had to make adjustments and housesitting has allowed me live rent free and make ends meet. My zest for life has returned and I have decided to study full-time for the next two years. There are still days that I am an emotional wreck and am scared of having the cancer return but I am better at letting this pass and it does.
I share my story with you as I can relate to many things you have and are experiencing, particularly the friends/family who think you should move on. This website connects us all with others who can relate. I have not reached out until now and sharing with you has made me feel not to alone.
I hear your strength and know that you will make the right decision for you. If I can be of any help I am happy to be available by email or phone.
Kind regards, Claire
