Bilateral axillary clearance - advice sought

Hi @"Deb P", they call me strong , brave and that I'm almost there !!! I feel like screaming at everyone. I'm over it and had enough. I don't sleep well and am spoked in my sleep . I was dx with multi lobular in dec had the mastectomy and had one node positive so went back for the axillary clearance after that is when it all hit me and makes me feel so afraid and fixated with my % of recurrence. I'm at Day 23 radiation artificial menopause from monthly injections . My 15 yr old is coping really well now , I'm not but I'm hoping the normal will come back after I have the final reconstruction in 6months . Iv made my appointment to get a referral to see a psychologist. 
@Zoffiel, I love what you wrote , 'cranky pessimistic survivors' hehe let's get pist off with cancer