Apathy

Hello sisters in pink

A question?

Apathy what a horrible word. I have had small bouts throughout broken arm, chemo, breast op and radiation always managing it and snapping myself out of it. But have it full blown nearly two weeks after a craniotomy to remove tumour in right front lobe. I was sent home with a report a patient copy should never have to read and of course became consumed with research etc. Hours a day.

 Had a clinic appointment yesterday that did not go well as I was irritable and angry, all signs of brain trauma but sent back on my way two buses and train back home (3 hours each both ways) The appointment appeared to me a complete waste of my time and energy as I saw a broken English speaking registrar who had no idea who I was from Adam or Eve. The breast nurse entered the room with me and did not introduce herself or tell me why she was actually in the room while my appointment was going on.

She also kept interrupting and speaking to me very slowly as if I was not all there. She annoyed me. It was my appointment not hers. I had some very important questions but she would not allow me to speak or ask and kept saying those questions are for your medical oncologist and not Dr Bally Bal (cannot remember his name) She said Dr Bally Bal had done his job and helped removed the tumour and all other questions need to go back to medical oncologist so I asked “what was the point in this appointment?” obviously too stupid a question to answer. I am one to ponder and am not proud of myself at how I handled the appointment but later I started to think about changes in my behaviour and again back to research. We have the time pink sisters. I just felt from the hospitals point of view I had all the classic signs of someone who maybe should have been either prepped or debriefed. I have all the classic signs of apathy, stress and depression. I also live alone.

Anyone got any thoughts, suggestions. Love to hear from you

Hope all is going well and have a great weekend.

Cyber hugs

Sarah54