Well yesterday I got the news that nobody wants to hear, especially at 38 - 'its' cancer'. Two days of waiting for pathology results was the worst time in my life. Just the not knowing what i was going to have to deal with was awful. I actually felt better when I got the full picture. But my husband is not doing so well right now. He was sure it would be negative. 'You hardly drink, don't smoke, eat salad and drink de-caff tea for christ sake!' - why you? Why indeed, but it's just bloody bad luck - and the result of years of stress I think. You see, I am also a mother, to two boys aged 6 and 9 - and a fulltime carer. My eldest was diagnosed with autism at age 3 and we have been riding the rollercoaster ride of disability with him ever since. He is not at school and needs high levels of support. But he is so damn lovable and intelligent too. But the stresses that come with such a life take its toll and for me, breast cancer at such a young age is obviously the price I am paying. And so another rollercoaster ride begins - and there will be ups- and there will be downs - but what other choice do I have than to ride it out, take it on the chin and keep bloody fighting!! I will now wait for the specialist's appointment and the call for surgery in the new year. Xmas will be hard but at least I can spend a 'normal' few days with those I love and cherish. And who can ask for more than that? Merry xmas and a healthy new year to us all....

Hi BirdGirl, sorry you have had to join us here but take comfort in all the love & support you will receive from the wonderful ladies on this site. I have to agree with you about the stress thing as I am sure it contributed to mine. Yes you certainly have a lot to cope with. I work in childcare so can relate somewhat to what you have to go through although for you it is 24/7. Just enjoy your time with your family now & good luck with the surgery next year and I hope the results will be positive. Wishing you all the best for Christmas. Loretta xx

Hi Birdgirl, i am so sorry you have to go through this BC journey but your on the right site to get some support from so many wonderful ladies who have all been through exactly what you are about to embark on. It is the worse time of your life waiting for those dreaded result, i understand totally. There just seems to be so much waiting all the way to the end of treatment which really seems unfair but you will be all the stronger for this experience than ever before. I believe you are right about stress and Breast Cancer. I was in a highly stressful job for years and had two major things happen in my life in recent years that took my stress levels way over the top for months on end. As the people upstairs dont know yet what causes BC i guess we will have to wait it out and see if stress is related. Your poor husband, It is such a scary time for everyone concerned but be reassured that the medical world has come such a long way in recent years and the survival rate is so high now. Hopefully you will not have to wait to long to begin the road to recovery, and good luck with everything. Cheers Jo xx

So sorry you have breast cancer but you have come to the right place and you'll be ok.Like you,I don't smoke,hardly drink,eat healthy,not what you'd call overweight,breast fed the kids but I still got breast cancer twice.My first time was back in 2003 and I had a lumpectomy,followed by radiation.Last year(7yrs later)it came back in the same breast,same spot and so had to have a mastectomy and chemo. I've met alot of women along the way and the only common denominator that I can see is that we all had a high level of prolonged stress.Doctors don't agree with this but until they come up with a better explanation then it's the one I'm running with. The waiting and the unknown are the hardest bits of this journey-it can do your head in. Keep very busy (as I'm sure you will be)until your surgery and surround yourselves with lots of support.Come onto this site whenever you want to ask questions,chat or just vent.We know what you are going through and we offer friendship and support.Christmas will be hard but 2 little boys are bound to keep you occupied and give you some family fun. Tonya xx

Another rollercoaster ride begins

17 Replies

Tanya
Member
14 years ago
Hi Birdgirl

Just wanted to pop in and say hi and hope that you enjoyed some nice time away? Hope you feel a little more prepared for the treatment ahead by listening to other stories on this site. Be sure to ask what support is available to you (including financial) for your children aswell as yourself. When I was diagnosed my youngesr was only 2 so I had to have some family daycare for her once a week to give me a chance to rest.

Take care xx Tanya
Tanya
Member
14 years ago
Hi Birdgirl

Just wanted to pop in and say hi and hope that you enjoyed some nice time away? Hope you feel a little more prepared for the treatment ahead by listening to other stories on this site. Be sure to ask what support is available to you (including financial) for your children aswell as yourself. When I was diagnosed my youngesr was only 2 so I had to have some family daycare for her once a week to give me a chance to rest.

Take care xx Tanya
Pennybryn
Member
14 years ago
Hi BirdGirl. I was diagnosed with early breast cancer in August this year. I have no family history, don't drink and smoke, but I am a stress head, have been for a long time. I must say I tend to blame stress for my BC and the fact that cancer knows no bounds. Waiting is one of the hardest things to handle. You will find that when you know more you will tackle this head on and fight with everything you've got, what else can you do! Christmas will be difficult for you but you have the love of your husband and little boys and the boys will be counting down the sleeps until Santa. I have found this site to be my best support and when the ladies say they "understand" you can rest assurred they really do. So if you want to know something just jump on here and someone will have the answer, and you really can sense the love and support from these very special ladies. Good luck and God bless you and yours at this difficult time.

Dale xx
Pennybryn
Member
14 years ago
Hi BirdGirl. I was diagnosed with early breast cancer in August this year. I have no family history, don't drink and smoke, but I am a stress head, have been for a long time. I must say I tend to blame stress for my BC and the fact that cancer knows no bounds. Waiting is one of the hardest things to handle. You will find that when you know more you will tackle this head on and fight with everything you've got, what else can you do! Christmas will be difficult for you but you have the love of your husband and little boys and the boys will be counting down the sleeps until Santa. I have found this site to be my best support and when the ladies say they "understand" you can rest assurred they really do. So if you want to know something just jump on here and someone will have the answer, and you really can sense the love and support from these very special ladies. Good luck and God bless you and yours at this difficult time.

Dale xx
Jrova
Member
14 years ago
My oldest daughter has autism, and she was 9 when I was first diagnosed (I was 34). My mum had died 18 months earlier from cervical cancer. My daughter was very stressed when I was having treatment and developed a big grey streak in her hair! I started to wonder how much stress could one woman bear! Eventually though, treatment finished and everything settled down. My daughter is 18 now, and works part time. My best advice is to take one day at a time and don't dwell on what might or might not happen in the future. I developed a new breast cancer this year (unrelated to the first) but everyone has coped fine with it. I've finished my chemo and feel pretty good again. Life keeps ticking on and everyone is happy! All the best xx Jane
Jrova
Member
14 years ago
My oldest daughter has autism, and she was 9 when I was first diagnosed (I was 34). My mum had died 18 months earlier from cervical cancer. My daughter was very stressed when I was having treatment and developed a big grey streak in her hair! I started to wonder how much stress could one woman bear! Eventually though, treatment finished and everything settled down. My daughter is 18 now, and works part time. My best advice is to take one day at a time and don't dwell on what might or might not happen in the future. I developed a new breast cancer this year (unrelated to the first) but everyone has coped fine with it. I've finished my chemo and feel pretty good again. Life keeps ticking on and everyone is happy! All the best xx Jane
BirdGirl
Member
14 years ago
Hi Hilary - I have ordered the journey kit, so thanks for letting me know. It looks like it will certainly help me. I met the McGrath foundation breast care nurse the other day and she seems very warm and supportive too. Wishing you a merry xmas and new year.
BirdGirl
Member
14 years ago
Hi Tonya - thanks for your message. I didn't expect to hear from anyone so it has been a great surprise to hear from some wonderful ladies. We are going away for four days over xmas so that will be nice to get away from the house for a bit. I think a change of scenery will do us all good. And you are right, the boys will certainly keep me busy...probably be building bloody LEGO for most of it!! Wishing you a great xmas and new year.
BirdGirl
Member
14 years ago
Hi Kathryne - thanks for your message. My husband is feeling a bit better, we managed to get away for a night and enjoyed some laughs and giggles together. I am sure this experience will only bring us closer together. Wishing you a merry xmas and new year.
BirdGirl
Member
14 years ago
Hi Jo - thanks for your words. Stress certainly has a lot to answer for doesn't it? Sure is a wake up call. Thanks for your support. Wishing you a lovely xmas and new year.