Another newbie for the pink lady conveyor belt!

Hi MandyMoo,

Thanks so much for your reply and all of those really practical tips.  I am a pretty logical and organised person and I am usually most comfortable once I have sorted out how I am going to accomplish something so your insights into how you are managing to keep the house running will really help me. 

I am sure you have your down days but you seem to have your stuff sorted and a pretty positive attitude so I hope that I can also stay up beat and keep my sense of humour through this.  I am sure that I have had some post natal depression and so I am hoping that my treatment does not send me back there but this forum will probably help a lot to keep me sane.  Like you,  I have had heaps of offers of practical help and so I might start calling in some of the favours when the going gets tough. 

 I live in Jerrabomberra NSW which is just over the border from the ACT.  I grew up in Canberra and still travel over the border to work but love living in NSW (the pollies aren't quite so nutty and I live in a really great community).  I accepted your contact request and read through your first blog and its replies.  Your thoughts and emotions were very similar to mine. I felt a bit embarrassed about the fuss that everyone was making as to me as this wasn't so bad..or was it? I decided to send an email to all 171 people in my branch prior to my mastectomy.  I decided that  I wanted to tell everyone the facts (so that hopefully they wouldn't start writing my eulogy just yet), I wanted to make people feel comfortable to discuss my diagnosis with me but I also stressed that I also wanted to be treated exactly the same as before and that I wanted to discuss other subjects too!  I received some really uplifting replies and have printed these off to read on a gloomy day. Today was my first day back at work after my mastectomy and I think the email has worked.  I received lots of g'days and some people stopped me for a chat but in general it was work as usual. I am hoping that when I walk in to work the first time without my signature blonde curly hair that my email will serve to stop any embarrased glances or whispers in the tea room.  I have told my two oldest and cheekiest male friends that 'baldy' is not an appropriate substitute for my normal nickname of 'blondie' but I am sure they will probably come up with some other nickname or pick on another of my body parts!

I got my drain out today so that was exciting for me but I think my little kids might actually be a bit disappointed that they won't get to see 'my blood' anymore.  As I have said in another reply I will be able to perform crocodile rolls in my sleep tonight without waking up bound in tubing!  I am also hoping that I can start to exercise my arm more now that the drain is out as I am keen to get it back to full movement as soon as possible but I think I will give it a few days as I don't much fancy having fluid syringed out if I over do it.  

Tommorow I will have bone scans and a liver ultrasound (which they say doesnt hurt) and then I am off to the post mastectomy shop to look at hats, wigs, bras and protheses.  So I have a busy day ahead but I always feel better when I am getting on with things.  Thanks agains for your comments to my first blog.  Karen

Hi Daina, Thanks for your welcome and advice.  I got quite excited when I logged on tonight and found that I had messages already.  Looking forward to further chats.  Karen

Hi Shirl,

Thanks for your reply, lots of great advice.  I think I am going to enjoy this network as it is so nice to talk to other ladies who have felt the same emotions and dealt with the same problems and issues.   I have four children.  The older two are a nearly 19 year old daughter and a 16 son from my first marriage.  They live with us every second weekend and the rest of the time with their dad.  They took my diagnosis very well, being teenagers they are completely grossed out by my surgery and don't want to look - but that's OK.  My younger two are a 4 year old daughter and a 6 year old son and are from my current relationship.  I have been honest with all of my kids.  I have given them age appropriate information and made sure that they know I am happy to answer any questions or concerns they had.  My teenagers have been supportive and loving but not particularly interested in the details. My younger kids have been very accepting and full of intelligent questions and matter of fact statements.  They are both fascinated by my mastectomy wound and in thrall of my drain.  My son tried to pull my drain out of its carry bag the other day at school for show and tell (I gently advised him that showing my drain was not appropriate).  Over lunch with the in-laws on Saturday my gorgeous 4 year old daughter asked me to show everyone my flat booby (I declined again).   

I have already ordered a My Journey Kit and it should turn up soon.  I am off tomorrow for a bone scan and liver ultrasound (just to be sure) in the morning and then on to a post mastectomy shop to look at wigs, hats, prostheses and bras in the afternoon.  So, by tomorrow night I should be thoroughly stuffed but hopefully I will have lots more ideas about what I can buy in anticipation of losing my hair and what is available in the way of bras and protheses for when I have recovered enough from the surgery.

Today my drain was removed..woohoo... I shall do crocodile rolls in bed tonight with out waking up wrapped up in tubes!  Funny..how breast cancer quickly changes what gets you excited!

Karen 

Hi Karen and welcome to a wonderful group of amazing women!

Your story sounds so familiar to mine - except mine was ductal not lobular.  I am now halfway through my chemo and it is now reality not a dream.  I think you hit the nail on the head with what is hardest - the being looked after!  My family all live interstate so being looked after means having others living in the house.  I now accept it - we all need it and it has helped get us through.  The support of my friends and family has overwhelmed me but in a good way.

The things that have worked for us:

- a friend organised a food roster - she sends out the emails including a list of family favourites and no-goes, they all communicate to make sure we don't have a week of lasagne! I leave an esky on the front porch and a box for the containers to be returned.  We do this for about a week and a half so that I or hubby cook on weekends and the "good" week between chemos.

- Friends text before calling or calling in in case I'm resting.

- I organise pampering and catchups with friends in week 3 (my good week betweeen chemos)

- we redid the kids' job schedule (varying success here) - lots of praise for when it actually happens (they are 4, 6 and 9)

- organised other parents to help with pick ups and drop offs - particularly any before school ones.

- we told the kids everything that was going on from the first day.  We used varying resources depending upon their ages.

- we had a Hair shaving party to celebrate losing my hair so it wasn't so confronting for the kids - they all had a go at taking some off.

- I have lots of tv shows on a hard drive and headphones so that in my 'off' week I take off to my bedroom and sit in a recliner chair and watch tv or snooze without hearing all the noise in the house.

The hardest thing is actually having to slow down a little.  I still find I can "Captain" the ship so to speak but delegate the tasks more.  I try to rest so that when the kids are home I am feeling good to help with homework, music practice and chat about the day generally.  

You can and will get through it - there are times when I think I can't - the drugs often make me feel quite low but here I am halfway and coping fine so far and only now realising how strong I can be and how I am changing as a person despite thinking I wouldn't.

I hope you are recovering well from your surgery and look forward to sharing with you. Which state are you in?

Amanda xx

Hi karen b,