Hi Karen and welcome to a wonderful group of amazing women!
Your story sounds so familiar to mine - except mine was ductal not lobular. I am now halfway through my chemo and it is now reality not a dream. I think you hit the nail on the head with what is hardest - the being looked after! My family all live interstate so being looked after means having others living in the house. I now accept it - we all need it and it has helped get us through. The support of my friends and family has overwhelmed me but in a good way.
The things that have worked for us:
- a friend organised a food roster - she sends out the emails including a list of family favourites and no-goes, they all communicate to make sure we don't have a week of lasagne! I leave an esky on the front porch and a box for the containers to be returned. We do this for about a week and a half so that I or hubby cook on weekends and the "good" week between chemos.
- Friends text before calling or calling in in case I'm resting.
- I organise pampering and catchups with friends in week 3 (my good week betweeen chemos)
- we redid the kids' job schedule (varying success here) - lots of praise for when it actually happens (they are 4, 6 and 9)
- organised other parents to help with pick ups and drop offs - particularly any before school ones.
- we told the kids everything that was going on from the first day. We used varying resources depending upon their ages.
- we had a Hair shaving party to celebrate losing my hair so it wasn't so confronting for the kids - they all had a go at taking some off.
- I have lots of tv shows on a hard drive and headphones so that in my 'off' week I take off to my bedroom and sit in a recliner chair and watch tv or snooze without hearing all the noise in the house.
The hardest thing is actually having to slow down a little. I still find I can "Captain" the ship so to speak but delegate the tasks more. I try to rest so that when the kids are home I am feeling good to help with homework, music practice and chat about the day generally.
You can and will get through it - there are times when I think I can't - the drugs often make me feel quite low but here I am halfway and coping fine so far and only now realising how strong I can be and how I am changing as a person despite thinking I wouldn't.
I hope you are recovering well from your surgery and look forward to sharing with you. Which state are you in?
Amanda xx
