Am getting anxious

Hi, 

Tomorrow is the fitting of the portacath and Thursday start chemo, Hope I will remain positive for both occasions.

Thanks for your good luck Kath.x

Hope all goes smoothly with the portacath insertion. Kath x

HI KymVass, 

                  Having a meditation CD is good to ahve during chemo.I try to find the Cd you mentioned., LIfting Your Spirits. Wish you also good luck for any treatment you still have to do. Tomorrow have the portacaht fitted then Thursday start chemo. I am anxious and nervous about both but I know I need to start being stronger than I am right now as it is a very long journey. I am told I ahve 8 to a year of treatment.

Thanks again a for your post.

Hi,

Sorry you have to go through this. The anxiety really does hit an all time high with the appointments and treatments. I found a fabulous CD, a meditation CD, and I burnt it and saved to my iPhone. I used it for every chemo, radio and preparing for surgery. It did help a lot. It's called Lifting your Spirits and talks about the healing chair so it changes your mindset about everything. All the best and I wish you minimal side effects. 

I'm finished treatment now and still keep in contact with a few of the friends I made. The doctors will use anaesthetic to put the port in and when they remove it, either local or light general. Once your port is inserted, you put the emla gel on two hours before each treatment. It just numbs the area for when they access it. Yes the port is inserted in your chest under the skin. When they access it, they will have everything steril and will insert a hook type of needle. It's quite thick. Only people who have been trained can access your port as it's important not to get infection in it. You buy the emla gel from the chemist. I had mine in for 16 months. I personally hated it and it was the one thing about my treatments that freaked me out. It's funny how you can focus on something that others find trivial and it can upset you so much but that was mine. It did make treatments so much easier though and I was fine once it was accessed. 

Hi there,

It is very natural to feel the way you do, dont worry we all felt like that.The chemo nurses are amazing and they will reasure you and answer any questions you have.  Having the chemo isn't  bad it's just that you know you will have some side effects and it is draining. 

Be kind to yourself rest up, go for some walks when you can it helps and if you get side effects we have all had them and have little rememdies to ease them. The best of luck and please keep us posted.

Cheers Jen ?? ?? ?? xx 

Thanks Kath I am trying to be positive but I am sure the first day is not going to be easy.I cried and cried when I was diagnosed and after then I tried to gain control of my emotions, it is like a yoyo feeling trying to be brave sometimes it works other times it does not. 

Thanks again.

I balled in the shower the morning of chemo (and for days and days beforehand ) then managed to pull myself together, plaster a smile and once I was there the nerves went. What you are feeling is normal. Take care and hope all goes well. Kath x

HI cook65, 

                Can you please let me know what do you mean "Make sure that you put some emla gel on 2 hours before your port is to be accessed to help with any discomfort. "

Is that before it is fitted for the first time as I do not even know where it is being fitted? I think its on the chest somewhere.

Mine is supposed to remain under the skin for the whole treatment, as far as I understood. 

That's  good that your chemo buddies and you make a day out of the day you are having chemo. I am sure that if there are regulars having treatment same day as you,  you tend to become friends too.That will be good for the moral too sharing the experience. Thanks for your post and have a nice weekend.

- 

Hi there

as the other girls have said, company makes it go faster. Don't be at all surprised if it's a bit of an anti climax on the day as you don't generally feel too bad until a few days after. My chemo buddies and I always made a day of it. We dressed up, silly things in our hair, made an effort to talk to others and the staff and made sure that we laughed. We took a picnic lunch. We laughed at ourselves, my anxiety and anything else we could find. Don't get me wrong, there were tears every time, for me my anxiety surrounded having my port accessed, but everyone else is in the same boat. We have made some wonderful friends, as you tend to see regulars who are in on the same days as you are.  Whatever the side effects are, your team will work with you to try to minimise them for you. You will get through this. It's not pleasant but it's all for a good cause and ultimately for good health.  Relaxation techniques and meditation will help with the anxiety. Make sure that you put some emla gel on 2 hours before your port is to be accessed to help with any discomfort. Good luck. Karen xox