Hi Sam09
First things first - you have every right to determine what treatment you have. All of us do. Unfortunately there is no guarantee about not rethinking or wondering "what if" - whatever we do, and however much (or little) treatment we have. More unfortunately there are no guarantees. That's why we fear cancer. It's scary, treatment is scary, side effects may be scary. There's been some interesting posts recently on this site about how the media (and others, let's be fair) can dwell on the doom and gloom. It's understandable, but it scares people witless at a very vulnerable time in their lives.
Treatment doesn't always work. Very sick people may feel and possibly get sicker as a result of their treatment. But as primek says, we are offered some indications about what has worked for others, why it may work for us, and ready or not (and we are not very ready most of the time) we need to make some decisions. I get amazed (and delighted) by how many advances have been made just in the last decade or so. Like you, I was HER2 positive (in one positive lymph node, not the main tumour - but that means the cancer was already mestasising). I had a mastectomy (tumour too large for a lumpectomy), lost 17 lymph glands (only one was positive, but no hard feelings, an awful lot looked well and truly affected!), had chemo, Herceptin and hormonal tablets. I did have some side effects from chemo, but all manageable and I was never sick and didn't have fatigue. The side effects are very variable. I have clocked up 4 years cancer free and looking forward to the Big 5, when my chances of recurrence drop sharply.
We all hope there is a simple, good answer to your test results. But if not, ask what are your options now and have a further think. There will be lots of people here to advise and talk to. You may still choose what you have already chosen, but you will have had some further time to reflect on what's best for you.
