Forum Discussion
Adjusting to bad news, staying hopeful, changing habits
Hi,
I am a 44 year old mother of two girls, 3 and 7. Was diagnosed with breast cancer on Tuesday evening after a mammogram and ultrasound in the morning. On Wednesday I saw a specialist who sent me for biopsies and scans. On Thursday afternoon I learnt that I have HER2 positive BC in my right breast (3x3cm with two smaller tumours nearby), and one lymph node biopsied because it was enlarged was also cancerous. A lump on the left was benign. It does not appear to have spread to bones, pelvis, liver etc however there were two 5mm nodules in my lung that might be BC. I am hoping they are something else but have to be prepared in case the cancer already is stage 4. I remember the doctor said it was grade 2-3 but not sure if that is the same thing as stage 2-3.
I have somehow lost the reports, so I can't look over the details until they are mailed but I have an appointment on Wednesday with a different specialist to plan treatment. I am glad that things are moving quickly but am still reeling from the news and wish the appointment was sooner. I think I will be having preadjuvant chemo and/or targeted treatment, followed by a mastectomy of the right breast in several months (with optional rebuild), however I have not met with the oncologist so am not sure what to expect.
I should have gotten to a GP weeks ago as I had noticed hardness over many months (which I had thought was related to it being dominant for milk production) and had a sore breast in early July, however because I was breastfeeding and fairly ignorant of BC I mistook the symptoms including a swollen lymph node for mastitis. Only when all pain went way and I noticed the boob seemed bigger and misshapen with a prominent lump did I get myself to a doctor. Waited a week and a half for the scan that showed it was as suspected a malignant carcinoma. Strange thing is it only started hurting again after I learned what it was.
I don't know much yet but am trying to learn a bit without scaring myself too much or googling into the night. My youngest daughter has weaned herself, and on the night of the diagnosis she accepted bedtime without breast, understanding that I have sick boobies and the doctor said we should stop. In the middle of the night she was desperate to breastfeed, and I allowed this briefly. That is the last time I fed her, and she has been proud of herself for giving it up but has wanted to kiss it and hug it today.
Next move is for me to give up smoking, a bad habit of mine for many years off and on, which is not easy when it has been a response to stress and I have been quite stressed at times. It must be done, as I understand that it increases the risk of metastasis (if it has not already happened) and I wouldn't want to invite another cancer along right now. But I am trying to be gentle with myself when I occasionally light them only to put them out shortly thereafter. I hope to eliminate this habit fully by Wednesday. I have to clean up my diet and prepare for the treatment. I was a lifelong vegetarian until my early thirties however I have eaten a tiny bit of fish in the past ten years. I eat lots of fruit and veg. However I do have too many sugary things and processed stuff so I need to cut the crap out of the shopping list.
Emotionally I have been struggling a bit and I should arrange some counselling to work through my feelings. My mother and friends have been amazing, my husband has been a good support but doesn't like to see me crying, which I think is just a normal thing from time to time in such a circumstance. I am being open and honest with the kids and have been giving them lots of love and sweetness. Honestly I am sometimes very scared but I am trying to be strong for myself and for everyone around me.
Sending love and understanding to others with BC, and those who have recently been diagnosed, it's pretty tough to take, huh?
I am a 44 year old mother of two girls, 3 and 7. Was diagnosed with breast cancer on Tuesday evening after a mammogram and ultrasound in the morning. On Wednesday I saw a specialist who sent me for biopsies and scans. On Thursday afternoon I learnt that I have HER2 positive BC in my right breast (3x3cm with two smaller tumours nearby), and one lymph node biopsied because it was enlarged was also cancerous. A lump on the left was benign. It does not appear to have spread to bones, pelvis, liver etc however there were two 5mm nodules in my lung that might be BC. I am hoping they are something else but have to be prepared in case the cancer already is stage 4. I remember the doctor said it was grade 2-3 but not sure if that is the same thing as stage 2-3.
I have somehow lost the reports, so I can't look over the details until they are mailed but I have an appointment on Wednesday with a different specialist to plan treatment. I am glad that things are moving quickly but am still reeling from the news and wish the appointment was sooner. I think I will be having preadjuvant chemo and/or targeted treatment, followed by a mastectomy of the right breast in several months (with optional rebuild), however I have not met with the oncologist so am not sure what to expect.
I should have gotten to a GP weeks ago as I had noticed hardness over many months (which I had thought was related to it being dominant for milk production) and had a sore breast in early July, however because I was breastfeeding and fairly ignorant of BC I mistook the symptoms including a swollen lymph node for mastitis. Only when all pain went way and I noticed the boob seemed bigger and misshapen with a prominent lump did I get myself to a doctor. Waited a week and a half for the scan that showed it was as suspected a malignant carcinoma. Strange thing is it only started hurting again after I learned what it was.
I don't know much yet but am trying to learn a bit without scaring myself too much or googling into the night. My youngest daughter has weaned herself, and on the night of the diagnosis she accepted bedtime without breast, understanding that I have sick boobies and the doctor said we should stop. In the middle of the night she was desperate to breastfeed, and I allowed this briefly. That is the last time I fed her, and she has been proud of herself for giving it up but has wanted to kiss it and hug it today.
Next move is for me to give up smoking, a bad habit of mine for many years off and on, which is not easy when it has been a response to stress and I have been quite stressed at times. It must be done, as I understand that it increases the risk of metastasis (if it has not already happened) and I wouldn't want to invite another cancer along right now. But I am trying to be gentle with myself when I occasionally light them only to put them out shortly thereafter. I hope to eliminate this habit fully by Wednesday. I have to clean up my diet and prepare for the treatment. I was a lifelong vegetarian until my early thirties however I have eaten a tiny bit of fish in the past ten years. I eat lots of fruit and veg. However I do have too many sugary things and processed stuff so I need to cut the crap out of the shopping list.
Emotionally I have been struggling a bit and I should arrange some counselling to work through my feelings. My mother and friends have been amazing, my husband has been a good support but doesn't like to see me crying, which I think is just a normal thing from time to time in such a circumstance. I am being open and honest with the kids and have been giving them lots of love and sweetness. Honestly I am sometimes very scared but I am trying to be strong for myself and for everyone around me.
Sending love and understanding to others with BC, and those who have recently been diagnosed, it's pretty tough to take, huh?
67 Replies
- Thanks you are so right @Sister I did call the fantastic friend of friend this morning and she did put my mind at ease again by explaining a few things about the anatomy of the breast and what might be going on, and that it is not necessarily a sign of IBC. I will save any remaining questions for my oncologist who I will see before the next round. I enjoyed the look good feel good workshop and lots of good humour and laughs today which also lifted my spirits (as did looking a bit pretty and being in the company but of some other lovely ladies affected by cancer).
- Dr Google is rarely a good thing but we've all succumbed at times. It is a really difficult thing to feel as if you're back in the dark with this. I know very little about IBC but I'm assuming that you would have some sort of testing for this. Did the surgeon give you a plan of action? By all means, get a second opinion but possibly something that should be checked out even if the second specialist doesn't see it as a problem - you're going to be left wondering if nothing else. Do try to talk to the woman you were speaking to before. It may help settle your thoughts a little.
- I am having a really hard night tonight as I saw a breast surgeon today and the uncertainty of what she said has left me deeply confused and scared. The first thing she asked me to do is to avoid looking at sites besides this one and one other reputable Australian cancer site.
Last week I saw her the day before I started chemo and she indicated she was a bit worried about the appearance my breast, but she thought that what she was seeing might just be irritation from the biopsy. Today there was a student doctor in and she was showing her that my skin on the right breast had some dimpling around the nipple and she was expressing concern about me possibly showing signs of inflammatory breast cancer. I know that the GP who referred me for the first mammogram and ultrasound noted on the referral "no peau d'orange", and the other breast surgeon I saw did not say anything about it, but now this doctor is talking about me having this sign (I'm not sure, as I think that nipple was always a tiny bit inverted and had a few tiny dimples).
So I have gone from having a clear sense that I know what the cancer is and that it is diminishing with this chemo to having to entertain that maybe I (also/instead?) have IBC. I definitely have a noticeable lump and I definitely have HER2+ locally advanced multifocal breast cancer with lymph involvement but I didn't know that I could possibly also have IBC. Fat chance of me not googling it either after she mentioned the inflammatory word!
I know it is sensible to stay calm and not get carried away on a stress train but this has really upset me. I think I will try to obtain a second opinion asap, or I will ring the woman (retired specialist) who calmed me down last tine I got myself into a fear spin first thing in the morning. I'm supposed to be at the look good feel good workshop, but don't think I will be feeling too good until I get some kind of clarity on what this means for me and my treatment. - Oh no @kabash! I am so glad you worked that out. I have a friend who completely vagued out about taking steroids for her first chemo. Everyone was mystified as to why she was so ill!
The constipation on chemo is just dreadful. I had shocking runs for the first couple of days for the first chemo and after that locked up like a cast iron safe set in concrete... I just managed to keep things moving with Coloxyl & Senna, and a dissolvable powder, the name of which escapes me right now.
Good luck with getting things moving. K xox - I realised today that what I thought was a Coloxyl with Senna was actually an iron pill, which definitely exacerbated my constipation. I ended up with quite a problem after my visitors left and needed to get my husband to run out and buy an enema to evacuate my bowel. It was very painful and I felt like I was dying and there was blood. I need to be much more careful now that I am using medications to carefully read the label! Sorry for sharing this disgusting news. I'm going to blame chemo brain. I can't even explain what a relief it is that it is over. I'm definitely going to start using psyllium husks or some kind of laxative to try to get my body working in that department. My nausea has subsided a bit at least. Now I just want to fall asleep and recover.
- @Kabash I had terrible nausea and lots of vomiting as well which is quite unusual. Eat what you can and what you can handle. I I loved the fruit as well ) Definitely as the others have said let your BC nurse or Onc know if you have lots of nausea as they can change things for you. I suffered terribly the first 2 rounds but they changed things around with my med's then and the rest was grotty but doable. You will often find that the worse days for people kick in about day 3 to 4 and and go through up to day 7 to 10. Hang in there and if the nausea keeps up have some popsicle ice blocks in the freezer you can suck on to keep your hydration up. thinking of you. xo
- @kabash. Try psyllium husks. They are a completely natural laxative and are used in nursing homes.
- I walked a few blocks to collect my daughter from childcare yesterday and I will try to keep up doing whatever I can exercise wise. I used to like a bit of kick to kick with my husband but that might be a bit too much now. Walking does feel good. With my chemo brain and the sleeplessness I wrote grade 3 in my last post when I meant stage 3. Anyway it is both, and it clearly doesn't like these drugs which I am very happy with. I only got two days worth of those strong anti nausea pills, so this morning I am trying something called metoclopramide that I was also given for nausea or vomiting in the hope that I might be able to eat some brekky. I did try a coloxyl with Senna the day before yesterday but maybe I need to have another! I'm so unused to taking any pills I reckon I have had less than a packet of panadol in my whole life, so sometimes I do wonder if taking too many things on top of each other might be a worry. But maybe I am a bit heartburny too, and I think I got something for that before this all started. Hoping that the next few days get a bit easier, the taste in my mouth is less strong, but yes I am just trying to ride it like a big wave. Love to everyone and thanks again!
- Dear @kabash, I don't have any good words to add to all our network buddies above; so here are two cards for you
and
from jennyss in Western NSW - First one done! Now you know you can do it. Ask for better stuff for the nausea - my onc put me on Ativan (does make you drowsy) and it worked a treat. You may also have reflux without realising - I was on Somac and then later, Nexium, for that. Don't let the constipation get out of control. If you're not taking anything for it, you may want to try Coloxyl with Senna. I never used it but I believe Movicol is even more effective (just be aware that with chemo you can suddenly go completely the other way). The chemo downer does tend to kick in on day 2 or 3. If you haven't been doing it, keep a record of how you're feeling day by day as it will probably be pretty similar when you do subsequent courses. Great that the tumour is shrinking. You've got this!
Oh...and try to get some exercise, even if it's just walking to the end of the street. It gets the chemo through your body and out again, protects your heart, helps you recover quicker, and stops you losing too much condition over the course of treatment.
