oh dear - you've had some tricky moments. Yep, we all want to scream & shout & jump up & down (I didn't do the broom trick tho! ;) ) And mothers (and sisters) can be a real pain sometimes!!! My sister was telling everyone I was 'OK' because I didn't 'look sick'!! Funnily enough - I don't think any of us 'looked sick' until well after the surgery as it was a result of our ongoing treatments!!
The Males in your life can be tricky - they don't always know how to empathise - so they pretend nothing is wrong & just ignore what is going on..... This can really hurt, as all we want is a shoulder to cry on & be hugged & told everything will be OK. :(
Definitely try & get a counsellor as soon as you can .... it can be tricky finding that 'right space' in your head where you are just 'ok' - having said that - once you've had your surgery & get the pathology report and your team has a definite plan - you WILL actually feel a lot better. It is the fear of the unknown that is currently making it worse for you. Once you know the outcome of the surgery, somehow that fear dissipates!
In the leadup to my diagnosis and surgery - I just got out kayak fishing & with my uke group as OFTEN as I could (which took care of most days!) to keep my sanity & not become a blubbering mess. Kayaking & Uke are the 2 things where I can concentrate 100% on what I am doing, without the BC word sneaking into my head!
All the best for your appointments ... xx
