My dental appointment is booked for Tuesday and I’m working on a growing list of the things I will need to hopefully make it through all the hideousness of chemo. Thanks for all the tips. I do appreciate them.
People have commended me on how well I have been doing but they didn’t see the bit where I smashed the broom on my kitchen table (didn’t hurt the vase of beautiful flowers but there’s a good dent on the table and the broom was destroyed). Rage took over in that moment. I was so angry at the cancer and with everyone and myself. I didn’t want to leave my children and hated that I had no control. My 3 year old witnessed that and comforted me after. She’s amazing.
There was also the time I dived Indiana Jones style under the roller door so I could get away from my husband who was being unpleasant and just cry in my car.
I also had a particularly pathetic fight with my mum (before the broom incident) where I looked like a totally ungrateful idiot for a few minutes there and was telling her to leave and that I don’t want her help. Somehow my mother manages to draw the stress and bad behaviour out of me. Moments before I had thought I was doing pretty well.
Still need to get to a counsellor one of these days but it will happen soon. I’m glad I grew up with yoga and mediation as even when I get a bit stressed (or very) I can usually make a quick recovery. I need to work on my mental habits a bit to not get stressed about dumb things in the first place. And to not be as affected when other people around me are stressed.
