Mwahahaha...so sorry but you re hysterical and just expressed my thoughts and experiences exactly. Yes both rounds and an arse like a japanese flag. And the terror of a tearaway chocolate flood from any random escaping bum burp.
I have found the following helpful and has reduced my 7 day arse ectomy from round 1 to a 2 day bump from round 2.
Keep buscopam close by. It s an antispasmodic which is great for cramp and colic or bloating. Peppermint tea works. Also flat coke or lemonade as you get your salts and sugar.
Also i ve start taking them wee yakult thingys once a day and i think they ve helped too.
As a last resort a bit of sudacream. Cool yet refreshing on your wee ring sting. Not too much as it might cause infection.
I found that after 2 days a bit of lomitil relieved the symptoms but just watch that you don t take too much and start firing out rabbit pellets like a machine gun instead.
Much bum hugs.
Mags xx
