Hi all I have just been diagnosed with IDC grade 3 (27/06/16). still trying to work out what that really means beyond "you have breast cancer". We have no breast cancer in our family. Have been in denial until this morning where suddenly I have awoken to all sorts of emotions - wow for some one who finds it hard to sort emotions in the first place this is just a nightmare. see the surgeon on Monday and assume discussion of treatment will be done. AS one of the two lumps are wrapped around a lymph node I have to assume chemo is on the cards - the more I read about that ...... Anyway thought the forum might be a good place to start - I am struggling with telling folk - don't want the pity but I assume will need the help later. I don't want to hear the dark stories , the get over it princess stuff but I don't like with holding info either :). anyway at this moment that is my truth - who knows in a few days :)

Hi Annette it's such a shock, you never think it will happen to you. No cancer in my family, breast or any other. From nearly 4 years on, it's a remarkable thing. No-one would choose to do it, but it's not all grim. Chemo is not fun, but reactions vary - I was never sick or fatigued, and worked right through. How you react is hard to tell till you start. Energy is important, conserve it any way you can - I found work energised me and distracted me from cancer, others find it too much of a drain. No matter how unpleasant the treatment, remember it will end. Every week is closer to your goal. Lots of people can help, so take a deep breath and let them. You can set the tone of how they react, you want positive stories, support not other people's war stories! best of luck, you'll get there.

Hi Annette, It is a shock especially with no family history just take one appointment at a time and as I have been told numerous times lol dont look (well try not to ) at Dr google (easier said than done I know ) Chemo side effects are all different as the chemo regime is set different for the individual, your age and your type of BC, will come into play after surgery when you see the oncologist. the chemo nurses are fantastic and will help you every step of the way, if you need chemo that is :) Have you ordered your my journey kit yet?? in there there are cards that you can fill out and hand to people that explains as much info as you want to tell them. Keep asking questions,venting what ever you need on here, the ladies in here are fantastic they have either been there and done that or going through it, they are a wealth of information :) BIG cyber ((hugs)) for you Cheers Sue xx

Hi Annette, it is very confronting being told you have cancer. I had her2+ grade 3 idc also. I was hormone negative. I had 6 months chemo, 33 radiotherapy sessions and 12 months herceptin. Its a hard slog but you will get through it. I struggled telling people because I wasn't coping with their reactions. I asked my boss to tell my work colleagues and I also put a post on Facebook. That way I was able to keep people informed without having to go over the same thing over and over again and without having to deal with their emotions. It's not for everyone but it worked for me. Do what's right for you. Take one day at a time. All the very best for your treatment. Karen xox

No breast cancer in my family either. For a while I was very angry as to why I had to be the special one. Initially only very close family was told but my husband told the neighbours as I think he needed some support that wasn't my side of the family and his family live a long distance. Once I had the surgeries I was a bit more confidant in telling others and even did day by day updates on my face book on my chemo treatment. Out of the wood work came others who's mothers had had bc before so they had a bit of an insight of what mum went thru via my side effects and outlook on it all. It did also make a lot of my girl friends get their butts in and have a mammogram, something some of them had been putting off a long time. Fortunately no one had anything to report so it was just me with the bc.

Hi Annette, I too had no breast cancer in the family - nothing like being a trail blazer!! As for telling people - there is nothing wrong with you choosing who you tell and who you don't! I told various people at work and I think that the way I told them dictated to them how I wanted them to react to me. I am not a serious person and told them that I was looking forward to having two perky boobs and a flat stomach (from fat transfer). The reaction I have received has not held pity but humour and the ability to talk about things should I feel the need to. The offers of help have been interspersed with hilarious jokes but full of caring and I cannot believe the positive support I have been offered. All very overwhelming and beautiful. Seeing your surgeon will actually help you as there is nothing like having an action plan and time frame to give you something to focus on and aim towards. This forum is a font of knowledge and experience and no nonsense advice - absolutely fantastic and so very comforting. Any questions you have there are ladies here who have been there, done that and are more than happy to assist and offer advice that is truly beneficial. Wishing you all the best in the next step of your journey. Take care. Xx Cath

a shock | BCNA Online Network

17 Replies

Kathyjane
Member
10 years ago
so true Kath... and it is my first hand info and not the Chinese Whisper Chain
primek
Member
10 years ago
Better out there than people wondering why you are different. ..and you will be. Also allows you to just update what you want them to know...not rely on misinformed gossip.
Kathyjane
Member
10 years ago
Just to add ... I told everyone .. I put it out there on FB for everyone to deal with as they need too.. some were not sure how to talk to me or how to react or what to say but everyone is now good and following my journey ..

It is my way of dealing with all this. It is not for everyone but it is for me.. I am advocate for everyone who needs me ... that comes with my career choice and my personality
Annette_H
Member
10 years ago
many thanks
Annette_H
Member
10 years ago
thanks SUe

Hugs back :)
jd48
Member
10 years ago
sorry for all the typos... idiotic touchscreen and a long sleepless night do not make for a good combo...

I hope you manage to descipher some of it...

Jel...
jd48
Member
10 years ago
I do get not wnating people to know... I was the same plus still a secret to all but a handfull of friends and my boss who had to know as I had to stop working for Chemo and couple.ofncolleagues who needed to orep for me dissapearing off the face the earth for a while...

I think that not telling helped me initially as seeing reactions ofnpeople when told (the few that had to know) frustrated me to no end... They either reacted like they were looking at a walking corose or would straight away launch into telling me how wonderfull.my disposition and positivity were and how it was no big deal... not tonmemtion idiot new boss who proceeded to tell how her good friend had battled BC had chemo ets a few years back and in a way it is the best thing ever as it had made her turn her life arround, becaome healthy take care of her self... Seriously used all selft restraint I had not to punch her in a mouth... And there is thise who tell you positive disposition is what makes all the difference in beating the bastard BC and those who preach about needing to be more mindfull or tourself emotionally or physically or....

All I can say is - my reactions ranged from wanting to scream to wanting to punch people in the mouth to wanting to run away and slobber so keeping it a secret most of the tine worked the best...

I have been told 95% of BC diagnosed patients have had no family history of BC so most of us I guess are in the same boat... It is a shock... I am 44yo diagnosed with a geade 3 (aggressive little prick) stage 2 BC late Feb...

All I can say pre surgery days are a bitch emotionally... Massive unknowns and mood swings and millions of questions... Too many unknowns and frankly immedietely post surgery, before biopsy results are in also a lot of emotional turmoil...

I ranges from denial to sooking to outright fits if rage and could go all 3 in 1 day. Denial worked the best for me short term (long term maybe not so much)...

I am sorry for the reason you had to join this 'club' but this is a good place to be. Everyone here has been through it or is going through it so we all get it.

Do what feel right to you in the moment U R in as you need to take care of you. Know you may react and feel in way that are very foreign to yourself but that too is OK. This is as unnatural position one can find themself in - this cancer diagnisis and the therapies required to beat the bastard. All feelongs reactions and moods (as well as mood swings) are perfectly normal and this forum is always here be it support info sooking ir just outright venting that you need... We REALLY do get it and you will beat this

Hugs

Jel.
Kathyjane
Member
10 years ago
I think I might steal your idea and do that on the 22nd July .. before I go into hospital on the 25th..

FAREWELL BOOBIE PARTY... woo hoo
Kathyjane
Member
10 years ago
Annette,

I wish you all the best.. I too am a newly diagnosed IDC stage 2 with lesions 3cm. at this stage i have no node involvement but until I have the skin sparing mastectomy on July 25th I will not know anything more. I had a bone scan on Wednesday and a CT chest, pelvis and abdo on Tuesday No mets .. woohoo ..

I do have some other things that the CT found but I can work those out. Just know that I also didnt want my friends and family saying .. it will be ok .. cos it wont and it will be what it is .. but I also know that each day is like ground hog day and there does not seem to be a light at the end of the tunnel but Im sure there will be when the time is ready.

I did not and do not have a family history also and I never knew I had Cancer cos i did not find mine as it is lesions not lumps and the Mammogram was what has saved my life... turning 50 at Christmas and the Bus at Camden was a god send for me. My Surgeon thinks I have had this for around 12 months so that is why it is now stage 2.

We are all in this journey together now whether we want it or not .. hold you head high and cry when you need to and scream and yell but know we are all here for each other to get through this.

My thoughts are with you ...

Kathy
primek
Member
10 years ago
I also had a farewell boobie party as I had a bilateral mastectomy. It was a great way to acknowledge what was happening but keep it light. It made me feel I was making choices. All my work mates and family locally came and even friends from Vic. .. 100s km away. Kath x

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a shock

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