a shock

I do get not wnating people to know... I was the same plus still a secret to all but a handfull of friends and my boss who had to know as I had to stop working for Chemo and couple.ofncolleagues who needed to orep for me dissapearing off the face the earth for a while...

I think that not telling helped me initially as seeing reactions ofnpeople when told (the few that had to know) frustrated me to no end... They either reacted like they were looking at a walking corose or would straight away launch into telling me how wonderfull.my disposition and positivity were and how it was no big deal... not tonmemtion idiot new boss who proceeded to tell how her good friend had battled BC had chemo ets a few years back and in a way it is the best thing ever as it had made her turn her life arround, becaome healthy take care of her self... Seriously used all selft restraint I had not to punch her in a mouth... And there is thise who tell you positive disposition is what makes all the difference in beating the bastard BC and those who preach about needing to be more mindfull or tourself emotionally or physically or....

All I can say is - my reactions ranged from wanting to scream to wanting to punch people in the mouth to wanting to run away and slobber so keeping it a secret most of the tine worked the best...

I have been told 95% of BC diagnosed patients have had no family history of BC so most of us I guess are in the same boat... It is a shock... I am 44yo diagnosed with a geade 3 (aggressive little prick) stage 2 BC late Feb...

All I can say pre surgery days are a bitch emotionally... Massive unknowns and mood swings and millions of questions... Too many unknowns and frankly immedietely post surgery, before biopsy results are in also a lot of emotional turmoil...

I ranges from denial to sooking to outright fits if rage and could go all 3 in 1 day. Denial worked the best for me short term (long term maybe not so much)...

I am sorry for the reason you had to join this 'club' but this is a good place to be. Everyone here has been through it or is going through it so we all get it.

Do what feel right to you in the moment U R in as you need to take care of you. Know you may react and feel in way that are very foreign to yourself but that too is OK. This is as unnatural position one can find themself in - this cancer diagnisis and the therapies required to beat the bastard. All feelongs reactions and moods (as well as mood swings) are perfectly normal and this forum is always here be it support info sooking ir just outright venting that you need... We REALLY do get it and you will beat this 

Hugs

Jel.