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Wildflower's avatar
Wildflower
Member
11 years ago

A long road

Having been diagnosed in November last year, it's only now that I think I've come to terms with it enough to seek out this network and the obviously fantastic support that exists for women like myself.

I hope nobody minds if I start my first blog post with a little bit of a quibble? That is, I'm not too keen on referring to what's happening to me as a "journey". 

To me, a journey is something pleasant. 

Having recently seen the movie Wild, I've taken to comparing the next year to a thousand mile slog through desert and snow whilst wearing ill-fitting boots and carrying an extremely heavy backpack.  Sometimes the rewards are great (like when my oncologist phoned to say my tumour had shrunk three centimetres) and other times I've felt like screaming.

Oh gosh! I hope this doesn't sound negative. It's all a bit of a hard thing to make sense of really isn't it?

Thank you for being there to listen :)

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  • Gillian2069's avatar
    Gillian2069
    Member
    11 years ago

    I found that 'journey' has fitted my mindset right from the start (diagnosis in December 2014). It's not a journey I would ever choose, but finding myself on it, I take a similar approach to travel planning - I prepare to the max for each new event, then see what happens.

    I've been very lucky because I haven't had to wait till the end to discover good things in the journey. For the first time in my life I feel that I am at the centre of a circle of love - as family and friends have offered their kind thoughts and practical support. Their love is directed to me, and I can reflect it back. How wonderful. In a way, it's not 'my' journey - all my friends and family are travelling it too, each in their own way.

    Like all good journeys, this one has predictable stopovers as well as unexpected surprises. If I ever write a book it will be called "Cancer gave me Golfer's Elbow". Who would have thought?!!

    We all dig deep, each in our own way, to get through the BC treatments. Perhaps our endurance is one of our rewards.

    Love to everyone,

    Gillian

     

  • Wildflower's avatar
    Wildflower
    Member
    11 years ago

    Thank you everyone for the kind, supportive, encouraging responses. I knew this was the right place to come :)

  • Jecca's avatar
    Jecca
    Member
    11 years ago

    Im with you, def not a journey I want to be on.  I normally just say its all crap! Im good, but its all crap!  I start chemo next week and im already marking of the calendar till when it is all over! 

    You dont sound negative at all - I think your walk in ill fitting boots thru snow was a great description!

  • Jecca's avatar
    Jecca
    Member
    11 years ago

    Im with you, def not a journey I want to be on.  I normally just say its all crap! Im good, but its all crap!  I start chemo next week and im already marking of the calendar till when it is all over! 

    You dont sound negative at all - I think your walk in ill fitting boots thru snow was a great description!

  • Chixon's avatar
    Chixon
    Member
    11 years ago
    I agree...it sure isn't a journey! It is a life- changing event...both emotionally and physically. It is a challenge to us personally...and to those around us who love and care for us to endure. It can include major surgery, chemotherapy and radiation....with side effects for some of us. But we do get through it..we all seem to find the strength to keep going. We see the light at the end of the tunnel...finish our treatments and look forward with a new appreciation for our life ahead.I think we are all pretty special and a lot stronger than we think. Look ahead..stay strong and all best wishes. Chris.x
  • rowdy's avatar
    rowdy
    Member
    11 years ago

    Yep I totally agree I don't know why it is called a journey. I have called mine the sh... trip. Not sure when it is going to end, I think all is good and then something else happens, one day at a time, this site is good I have vented more than once and sometimes it just helps to put it into words

    take care

  • Cook65's avatar
    Cook65
    Member
    11 years ago

    Haha, I refuse to call it a "journey" too as I feel a journey is someting I want to go on.  For me it is a process, so that's what I call it.  Your post doesn't sound negative at all.  And even if it was, it doesn't matter.  No one here judges and we all know there are good times and some really awful times.  And sometimes you just need to vent to get it out of your system A) to someone who understands and B) to someone you aren't going to offend.  It is a very safe environment on this network and I, like many others, have found it invaluable on so many levels.

     

    That's great news that the tumour has shrunk.  Way to go!  Good luck with your "process".

     

    Love Karen xox