Hey Piccme, vent all you want that is what we are here for. It is surreal at the start, especially when we don't feel sick. The thought of chemo is scary. It is overwhelming, but even if it is hard you WILL get through this. I never thought I could do chemo but I did. I had a lot of complications so it was never a walk in the park but I did get through it. Once treatment starts you will calm down a bit. It is more the unknown that gets us so worked up. Whatever you need we will be here for you. And yes, it really got to the stage where if another person had said to me to 'stay positive' I really think I would have punched them!!! They just don't know what else to say. Come on here any time if you need some encouragement. Having this network available 24/7 when I was going through chemo made a huge difference. Sending you hugs, Nadine