10 days in Hell
Well I feel like I have just survived 10 days off hell. as you may have read my first chemotherapy has not quite gone to plan. Everything that could go wrong did, first my portacath developed a blood clot and could not be used until they could flush it out with dye under Xray and even after that happened it became too swollen to use for bloods and now cant be touched until next chemo on the 30th. Needing Blood tests every day for 10 daYS proved difficult as my veins just could not stand up to it and my arm is black and blue from all the needles, I was even having blood taken from my fingers and thumb after the other veins in my arm gave up.
I was on IV fluids for 5 days and antibiotics IV after I developed a chest infection on day 3. Then to top off everything else I became Neutropenic and was then wrapped in cotton wool so as not to pick up anything else and I was confined to my room.
I knew chemotherapy was not going to be a walk in the park but not for one minute did I ever think I would lay in bed wishing I could go to sleep and not wake in the morning. I can say I have never ever felt so sick in all of my life , I honestly did not know what to do with myself. I could not keep any medications down and would vomit when only sipping my water. I can say though I lost 12kg in the 10 days so I guess there was some kinda payoff .
So the next session is due on the 30th September and to say I am already nervous is an understatement but the Oncologist suggested he keep me in hospital and have me on the IV fluids and antiamedics from the start and hopefully this should stop the symptoms becoming so bad, but if worst comes to worse at least I am there where he can help me by increasing the medications ASAP and the nurses can monitor me more closely.
Well tonight I am home and looking forward to spening the evening with the family, and sleeping with my husband beside me. I am going to try and look forward and trust that the next time wont be quite so bad. OOh and yes I am slowly, very slowly starting to lose my hair, it is as if its teasing me daily by dropping bits and pieces here and there, on a funny note the Nurse was making my bed when I was in the bathroom yelling at my hair to give it up and just fall out and stop teasing me daily. I am sure she thought I had finally lost my mind .. Sigh maybe thats what is happening to me... who knows, I am just trying to keep my head above the water or should that be out of the bucket :)
