"You have breast cancer"

Hello Ness and well done for being so brave to get online and share your story so far, it took me nearly 6 months to get to that stage!

I am very new here myself. I can honestly say I do know what you're going through and how you feel right now. It's all so bloody scary in the beginning and everything seems to happen at warp speed doesn't it? I would like to share my story so far with you so you know you're not alone in this. My diagnosis was in June this year.

I am much the same as you, felt a lump in the shower and thought 'oh thats weird, i'm sure that wasn't there before'. I too figured it was probably nothing but I'd get it checked with GP anyway as I was also due for the dreaded pap. My GP said 'oh you're only 34 so i'm sure it's nothing, probably just a cyst or something at your age but i'll send you for an ultrasound just in case'. 

One week of waiting to get in, then the longest ultrasound ever, followed by (to my surprise) a mammogram, really?! at my age? what for? I thought they only did those on older ladies? Then instead of heading off home as I had expected, I was sent back into the ultrasound room, closely followed by a nurse, the radiologist and then a doctor! WTF was going on, now I was getting nervous! Doctor said then and there that it wasn't a cyst and that I had a breast cancer, what?! He did a fine needle biopsy straight away and told me to go back to my GP first thing monday (he was ringing to give her the results as it was friday arvo by this stage). 

I spent the whole weekend thinking 'how could he know I have cancer, he doesn't even have the biopsy results yet'. I rang my mum (she works in a pathology lab) and she confirmed what I was thinking. We went to the GP monday and she said my biopsy results looked clear but the results didn't match the ultrasound or mammogram, again 'what the'? So off to the breast surgeon for a closer look. Another wait until friday to get in and a very nervous week at work followed! Friday ended up with core biopsy being done and by saturday night the surgeon rang me to confirm it was indeed an invasive cancer. What followed was a blurry week of bone scans, blood tests  etc. I was booked in and had surgery (very large wedge lumpectomy/partial mastectomy) including sentinel node removal one week later. 

I had a stage 1(not in my lymph node), grade 3 invasive tumour with very weak ER+1, PR+1, HER2-. Good prognosis, same as you, provided I do chemo followed by radio and hormone therapy. Much to my horror I might add, as I don't use any chemicals (in the home on on my body), only eat organic fresh and unprocessed foods and live a very clean healthy and active life, so the idea of putting toxic chemicals in my body was beyond my worst nightmare! Not an easy treatment to agree to :(

I have no family history either and like yourself I have no children. Even if it's not something you have ever really considered or want, the idea of the option of a family being prematurely taken away from you is really hard to digest, so I totally get where you're coming from. I went through a very rushed round of IVF before I started chemo, because at 34 I still wanted the option. Not a lot of fun with a needle phobia but I did manage to get a few eggs frozen, just in case.

I also understand your fears about early menopause. I went from an excessive amount of hormones in my system (IVF) to literally none over night with the start of chemo! What a shock to the system! I am told it's different for everyone and can depend on your chemo drugs, but I am now unfortunately in full chemical induced menopause due to chemo. It's not easy to be honest, and no one told me it would happen with chemo, only with the hormone therapy. You might be one of the lucky ones and it may not happen to you though, fingers crossed! So far the night sweats and hot flushes are the only problem I have (no dryness issues so that's a plus!), they do suck i'll be truthful, but the ladies on here have been really helpful with ideas on how to help with that and it's still a better option than having cancer!

Sometimes your specialists forget they are dealing with a younger lady, one of mine needed a reminder after being a bit too blunt and matter of fact about things when discussing having a bilateral mastectomy and ovary removal with me like it was nothing! Don't be afraid to tell them how you're feeling. Mine rang and apologised later after seeing my distress and said they get so familiar with seeing it everyday with older women they go into autopilot mode and forget younger women have got so many aspects to think about when making their decisions and a lot longer (in general) to live with the consequences of such.

My chemo is finished now, I had 4 rounds of docetaxel and cyclophosphamide. I also did nivestim injections to boost my white cells throughout as I also have coeliac disease and low bone density, not a good combo with chemo. But I got through it. I lost my hair, all of it, but I've gained many great friends already. The people are all really friendly at the various treatment places you will go and the specialists really do know what they're doing, trust in them and follow the plan they give you.

At the half way point before I start radio next week, I already feel so much better. Keep talking, I didn't and it got way too difficult! There looks to be many great ladies on this site and we are all here when you need us!

Enjoy the beautiful walks with your family and special four legged friend. Good luck for your surgery, you will be ok :) Hugs and warm wishes xx