What to say!
hello lovelies First time poster
Forum Discussion
Welcome @hendrix, I hear you with the hundred questions problem.
My big family is very concerned, would love to help, be supportive and all that. They do however live an hour away and all work, so they thought that showing support was to phone me all the time and ask about everything.
I got exhausted with it very quickly.
I just messaged everyone and explained that treatment made me exhausted, and talking on the phone tired me out dreadfully, so I would keep them all updated by email, and thank you so much for all their understanding etc etc.
So I sent out bulk emails updating a couple of times a week, and spoke to my parents by phone if I was up to it and emailed my younger sister when I needed to meltdown as she was the one I could talk to when I needed to lean on someone.
That has seemed to work for me. Everyone feels included, I don't have to say all the same things time and time again and I keep the information fairly basic, but I don't sugar coat it either.
It probably helps that half my family are nurses, and many of them have watched extended family members deal with cancer of some sort too.
I hope you can find a way that takes the pressure off you to be positive all the time, and yet keeps them informed.
We are allowed to be tired, overwhelmed, unsure, confused, scared, fragile and just plain fed up.
I am finally learning that I am allowed to say it too.
I spent most of my life behind a smiling mask of "everything is all right" if anyone asked.
Now I do temper it a little for who I am talking to, but mostly I am bluntly real.
Hoping you can find a comfortable answer with your family too, Jennie
My big family is very concerned, would love to help, be supportive and all that. They do however live an hour away and all work, so they thought that showing support was to phone me all the time and ask about everything.
I got exhausted with it very quickly.
I just messaged everyone and explained that treatment made me exhausted, and talking on the phone tired me out dreadfully, so I would keep them all updated by email, and thank you so much for all their understanding etc etc.
So I sent out bulk emails updating a couple of times a week, and spoke to my parents by phone if I was up to it and emailed my younger sister when I needed to meltdown as she was the one I could talk to when I needed to lean on someone.
That has seemed to work for me. Everyone feels included, I don't have to say all the same things time and time again and I keep the information fairly basic, but I don't sugar coat it either.
It probably helps that half my family are nurses, and many of them have watched extended family members deal with cancer of some sort too.
I hope you can find a way that takes the pressure off you to be positive all the time, and yet keeps them informed.
We are allowed to be tired, overwhelmed, unsure, confused, scared, fragile and just plain fed up.
I am finally learning that I am allowed to say it too.
I spent most of my life behind a smiling mask of "everything is all right" if anyone asked.
Now I do temper it a little for who I am talking to, but mostly I am bluntly real.
Hoping you can find a comfortable answer with your family too, Jennie