So sorry it is taking this long to get to see your Onc, @lady_with_green_eyes - as everyone has already said, the waiting is the pits!! It really does your head in - specially in the early days of finding the lump & diagnosis. Once you've had your surgery, a lot of that fear actually just slips away.
I'm like you - when diagnosed, I looked and felt ridiculously fit & healthy & people found it difficult to accept that I was in fact, ill!! It really is a roller coaster ride of emotions - and totally normal to have meltdowns and tears now & then. But there WILL be good days as well - so by keeping busy now and throughout the treatment as best as you can - will help you stay grounded.
Try not to use Dr Google - as a lot of the info there can be very dated and everyone's case is totally unique & it may well confuse you. Throw up any question that you have, here and someone will jump on board & give an honest answer, or suggestions on how to control it.
If you have any passions - painting, jigsaws, whatever (mine are ukulele and fishing!) get stuck into them, as a busy mind will push out the 'what ifs'.
All the best with your approaching chemo - make sure you drink a heap of water afterwards, to help flush it out of your system quicker. You will notice a pattern after a couple of sessions - when my husband had his chemo, he usually felt very tired after about day 3 or 4 & would put himself to bed for a couple of days. Then he would pick up again, ready for the next session!
take care, thinking of you xxxx
